Subway. Sub what? Sub why?

Remember how frumpy and unattractive reality star Kate Gosselin was when she first started appearing on television?


Well, eventually she got a stylist. And it did wonders for her. I'm thinking it's about time the Los Angeles Kings got a stylist. Sure they've had the makeover wonders of Dean Lombardi for the past few years... and he's taken the Los Angeles Kings from being frumpy and unattractive to being one of the most sought after young starlets in all of the NHL. But just when you think the Los Angeles Kings have it all together and full understand their "brand"... they go and do something like this:


Subway has come on as the corporate sponsor for the made-up "Freeway Face-Off" crosstown rivalry between the Los Angeles Kings and the Anaheim Ducks. It's bad enough that they have been trying to brand this divisional matchup for 2 years... but now... they've made it even more confusing for fans. You can't take the subway from Los Angeles to Anaheim. You can barely take the subway anywhere in Los Angeles that you need to go. You have to take the Freeway. That's just how it is here. If this were the Yankees-Mets crosstown rivalry and Subway stepped into being a corporate sponsor... then you have genius synergy marketing. I feel like Toyota missed out big time on sponsoring this one. Or even the Los Angeles County Metropolitan Transportation Authority could have stepped up. The "Metro Freeway Face-Off! Brought to you by the 405! Come check out our new lanes!"

A before and after of the "Freeway Face-Off" logo:

Old.

New.

As Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy, the VP of Design and Acquisitions for The Royal Half, commented to me this morning... "that design is god awful and the Subway logo is bigger than the team logos." You would also think that maybe Subway would have a presence at Staples Center in order to sponsor this rivalry... but sadly there is no way to get a delicious Italian BMT sub anywhere in the arena during the game. In fact the closest Subway to Staples is 4 blocks away. Unless you are talking about the Metro Blue Link Subway stop, which is only 2 blocks away... see I'm confused! All this talk about playing the Ducks just makes me realize how inefficient our public transportation is in Los Angeles! Maybe the Kings should have gone with "The Budweiser Lounge's Fish Taco Freeway Face-Off."

Just like most of Hollywood... the Kings have turned from a fresh-faced young teen star...


Into a raging force that is getting a ton of attention...


Tonight, against the Anaheim Ducks in the first "Subway™ Freeway Face-Off" of the NHL season, the Kings will look to shake loose from their annoying cousin from Orange County. This season, since the Ducks have struggled from the start, the Kings need to win these games to further distance itself from the always dangerous Ducks team. I almost feel like the Ducks just started out this season poorly so they could make it interesting. And then, after the Olympic Break, all of their amazing players will say "okay, now let's do this for real" and they will shoot up past everyone in the Pacific.

I may not be happy with the Kings decisions in terms of corporate partners... but I've definitely approved of their Hollywood makeover so far. I just hope they don't end up as annoying as this guy:

Hot Shots

Kings 0, Ducks 2

These are a tough couple of losses. The Los Angeles Kings are getting plenty of shots on net, but they are first shots with no follow-up chances on the rebounds. An NHL team can sit there and put 50 shots on net a night, but if they aren't getting 2nd and 3rd chances, they'll never score. Over the past 2 nights, the Kings have fired left and right at the goaltenders they've faced, but struggled to get one into the net. It's always easy to blame someone... and that person is Kyle Calder. Dustin Brown and Anze Kopitar are getting the first shots in... then Kyle Calder and his enormous hands of stone blow any chance of putting in a rebound. Case in point was that simple drag move that Calder should have pulled in the 3rd period with a wide open net. Instead, he fumbles with the puck and the goalie gets his freakin' skate out in time to poke the puck away. His skate! I don't care who takes his place on the line... Patrick O'Sullivan, Brian Boyle, Ted Purcell, Bailey... just get Calder out of there.

Tonight was the new and improved Rinkside View. Last week, Fox Sports Executive Producer Tom Feuer told the greater Southern California hockey fans to "fuck off." This week, someone at Fox Sports must have reminded Tom how lucky he is to have a job in the current economy because tonight's Rinkside View broadcast was just like any other Kings/Ducks broadcast. With one special change:

Brian Hayward is on the bench!
Now, if they can only move him to outside the Honda Center...
then we are talking about an improved broadcast.

Brian Hayward broadcast from the bench. How silly is this? Is Hayward really getting that much more information from crouching in the corner as the Ducks change lines? Can you imagine Vin Scully calling Gibson's home run from the end of the Dodger's dugout? What if Chick Hearn sat underneath the basket? Fox Sports West... if you want to increase viewership and attention to hockey broadcasts, then just show all the games in HD. I bet your ratings will soar, especially for the "Freeway Faceoff". And why does the Ducks announcer say "rimming" all the time?

The Kings don't play again until Thursday against the Washington Ovechkin's Capitals. My buddy and I have tickets for that game as part of our Half Season Ticket Package. It's going to be great to see the Capitals in person. And with the way the Kings have played over the last week, it should be a good one.

Freeway Fizzle

Kings 6, Ducks 3

A night of firsts... Wayne Simmonds' first NHL goal... the Kings' first win of the young season... and the first chicken breast sandwich I've ever had at Staples. Delicious.

It was an entirely different team out there tonight. And I'm not sure if it was a case of the Kings playing well... or the Ducks just being awful. And oh man, were they awful. I don't think I've ever seen the Ducks play this bad in the last few years.

I don't hate the Ducks because they are the cross-town rival. And I think the "Freeway Face-Off" is the worst crime of forced rivalry branding since the Lexus Gauntlet. (Besides, everyone knows that the Cortaca Jug is the most important rivalry battle.) No, I hate the Ducks because they were able to win a Stanley Cup within 14 years of being an expansion team.

Tonight, the Kings looked like the more promising Southern California hockey team. Wayne Simmonds' first NHL goal and his celebration afterwards put smiles on the faces of everyone in the arena. Which actually, wasn't many... the place was unusually empty for a Kings-Ducks game. 18 year old Drew Doughty looked strong for most of the night, even though it turns out he was battling the flu. Patrick O'Sullivan loves to skate backwards and stickhandle. And I think he may be the best in the league at it. And Matt Moulson not only picked the corner on JS Giguere... he had to turn the puck on its side first.

The victory was capped off by the release of hundreds of streamers into the air from the Staples rafters after the final buzzer sounded. My fellow Half Season Ticket Holder and I looked at each other... they can't do that after each victory, can they?

I think my Half Season Ticket Holder buddy hit the nail on the head when he turned to me and said "Well, they can't lose EVERY game." He is 100 % right, they can't. It doesn't matter how bad the other team played tonight. When a victory sends the Ducks to the bottom of the Pacific Division, even in a season that is barely a week old..., it's well-earned.