Bum-ifer

The Los Angeles Kings are the Jennifer Aniston of the NHL. They strive for respect... and never get it. They are popular... but never really had a substantial starring role. And no matter how hard they try... they just can't get a superstar to commit to them long term.

"Hey Jarret Stoll... I heard you are single!"

The incredible NHL Free Agent Frenzy is over and once again the Los Angeles Kings have come away with nothing. Over the last few years Dean Lombardi has cozied up to some of the NHL's finest superstars and offered them the moon... well at least a sizable box to fill on the moon. Names like Chara, Elias, Drury and now Hossa. And like Ms. Aniston making a move for Pitt, Vaughn, Wilson and Mayer... both failed miserably.

Jennifer Aniston photographed at the birth of Drew Doughty.

Once again a July 1st has come and gone and the Kings are left hanging their helmets alone in Malibu... right next to Ms. Aniston. Why can't these two entities ever find love? The Kings have everything a young superstar would be looking for, right? Excellent up and coming players... a young Captain that loves to hit... strong defensive minded coaching that can still allow for some hotshot scoring... and a GM who is dedicated to filling every single empty box he has on his whiteboard. But year after year... the Kings remain at the altar standing around looking to see if their groom is going to show up. And you know what... he never does. Hence my new spec script for a movie with Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd... "The Runaway Forward."


For the first time in a long while, Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I worked together for a few weeks and we took some quality time to re-create Dean Lombardi's world in his office. Above is what the white board looked like on the morning of July 2nd. No Hossa, no Havlat, no Gaborik (thank god, can you believe what that guy stole from the Rangers!) to fill that all important 1st line left wing box. Worn out from re-freshing my RSS reader every 5 seconds, I causally glanced at LetsGoKings.com and noticed something strange.... which led to this IM exchange with Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy.


It was true... cause it was on Twitter! The Kings signed Stanley Cup Winner Rob Scuderi to a 4 year, 13.6 million dollar contract. Um.. ok. That's interesting... wasn't so sure that Dean Lombardi was in a market for a 30 year old defensive defenseman. But ok... here was a player that had just won the Stanley Cup and done it with a team that was the worst in the league for a few years. Maybe this guy could be a good fit for the Kings. And then I learned his nickname... "The Piece." Check out this amazing story from Puck Daddy if you haven't already. Finally, a hockey player with a real nickname... not "Scudsy" or "Scuds" or "Robby." The Piece. I liked it. And then it hit me... of course... a trade is coming!

Hello, I'm Ryan.

I just didn't think it would be Kyle Quincey. But in hindsight, it makes complete sense. The Kings gave up nothing to get Quincey. They have too many players to fit into Dean Lombardi's "Young Defenseman" Box and to get a good player you have to give up a good player. But did I think that all it would take to land Ryan Smyth would be Quincey, Tom "Vertigo" Preissing and a 5th round draft pick? Wait let me say that again... the Kings rid themselves of Tom Preissing and his contract. And got Captain Canada in return.

Oh, Dustin Brown.. you break all the rules.

Unlike my respected fellow Kings blogger RudyKelly, I am very excited about the acquisition of Ryan Smyth. I have been a big fan of his ever since I dominated my college NHL 96 league with the Edmonton Oilers. (Smyth and Todd Marchant lead the league in scoring that season.) He is hard-nosed, hard-working and hard-to-move-from-in-front-of-the-net. He is the exact type of goal scorer that the Kings need right now and the type of player I hope Dustin Brown can turn into. Sure, everyone loves to talk about his injuries and how his style of play has Smyth on the downside of his career. Well you know who doesn't play like Smyth and is still always hurt? Gaborik. And Smyth is a much better player for this team than Gaborik.

There is still much uncertainty for the Los Angeles Kings this fall. This is the year that they actually have to contend for that 8th playoff spot instead of flirt with it. There is still a long way to go before training camp starts but for once, the Kings are sporting a pretty solid top 6.

Smyth-Kopitar-Williams
Frolov-Stoll-Brown

Stoll is the only real pretender there in the top 6, as he really belongs on the 3rd line. Listen, you are reading the rantings of an idiot who has paid for Half Season Tickets to the Los Angeles Kings for the last 6 non-playoff years. And had already sent in his money for a 7th before the Kings traded for Ryan Smyth. SO OF COURSE I'm going to be excited about the upcoming season. But when you look around and see all the bat-shit crazy moves other teams like the Rangers and Canadiens pulled... you can't help but be hopeful about the Los Angeles Kings chances for the 2009-2010 season. Just please don't let anyone get hurt.

Free Agent Frenzy on Figueroa

Ladies and Gentlemen... the future of the Los Angeles Kings.

Dean Lombardi did exactly what you want your GM to do on draft day... he entertained a bunch of trade offers... didn't get suckered into making a panic move to get a player... and then drafted the best available player, in this case... Brayden Schenn. The 5th overall pick is nothing to be ashamed of having (well, of course, except for coming in 5th worst overall in the league during the season.) But leaving the 2009 draft with a good solid prospect like Schenn is fine by me.

Now the real fun begins... the blog rumors.. the twitter updates... players asking their wives if it's okay if they pull their kids out of school and start living somewhere else... with 6 million a year more in their bank account.

The Kings are exactly where Dean Lombardi wanted them to be... good young core of players who are hungry for the playoffs and plenty of salary cap space available to sign that player who wants to help the team get there... hence the newest reality game show sensation... Who Wants to Sign with the Kings!

The options for a big name player are actually few... there are the Marian's; Hossa and Gaborik or those conjoined twins that play in Vancouver that are not named Marian.

Hopefully someone from the Kings organization has presented Dean Lombardi with a video yearbook chronicling the short, injury plagued careers of Jason Allison, Ziggy Palffy and Pavol Demitra. Those 3 players alone should warn the Kings to stay away from the extremely talented but intensely fragile Marian Gaborik. And signing him to a 1 year contract makes no sense as Gaborik is not the missing link that will send the Kings into the Stanley Cup Finals next season. We just want to make the playoffs. So you'd have to sign Gaborik to at least a 3 year deal... and then use the cap space that you get from him being injured to change your roster.

The Sedin brothers are crazy. Look, I like working with my friends too... but could you imagine if I made my boss hire both me and my best friend for each job I had? Do these guys live together and are married to a set of identical twins as well? Being an NHL professional means you can play in whatever situation with whomever on your line. Do you really want to sign 2 forwards to big contracts that can only play on the same line?

So that leaves Hossa. Do I think the Kings are going to push hard for him? Yes. Really hard. Do I think he's going to sign with the Kings? No.

What does this mean for the Kings then? It means another summer of sub-tier free agents ala the 2008 summer trifeca (what is the word for 4?) of Nagy, Calder, Preissing and Handzus. Until Michal Handzus woke up this past season... that free agent blitz didn't work out so well. The Kings will chose from names like Gionta, Knuble, Sykora, Tanguay, Cammalleri (don't think so), and Lang for this summer's free agent class. Further proving that high-level, elite free agents just aren't ready to join the Kings. (See Drury and Chara from 2 years ago.)

What do I want to happen?

Scenario 1) I want the Kings to sign Hossa. And play the full season (at least until the trading deadline) with Frolov and Kopitar. Then they can think about trading Frolov before the season ends.

Scenario 1a) Well... this goes against everything I was saying about Gaborik... but the Philadelphia Flyers are in some bad salary cap shape with their aquistion of Chris "Elbows" Pronger. So if the Kings could get Simon Gagne and not give up any of their core... I'd be fine with that. Just as long as he keeps his head up.

Scenario 1b) Dean Lombardi finally understands that he can make a man out of Dany Heatley and he trades for the disgruntled Ottawa winger by giving up Frolov and nothing else.

I love the Free Agent signing period. Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I are ready to spend the day on IM trying to out-scoop each other with links to free agent signing confirmations. Hey... that's pretty much what Eklund does all day too.