The Royal Half

Sellout Crowd

2009-12-14T12:48:00.000-08:00

Well, the rumors from Eklund were true... The Royal Half is moving to the Bloguin group. It seems there is a need for sarcastic content about the Los Angeles Kings apparently. Come check us out at our new home...

TheRoyalHalf.com

Please, please let me know if you have troubles with the new site.

FIRST!!!

2009-12-12T23:35:00.001-08:00

I don't know what makes me happier with this image above. The team at the top... or the team at the bottom. It doesn't matter that it's the same amount of points as the San Jose Sharks... on December 13th, 2009... the Los Angeles Kings are in first place in the Western Conference. At the end of the 2008 NHL season... the Kings were 2nd to last. That's quite a 3 year rebuilding plan, huh GM Dean Lombardi?

"I warned you guys... we hit first place... you get noogies!"

Kings 3, Stars 2, Kings Fans, Elated

A solid effort by the Los Angeles Kings. They look tired out there... they looked over matched... but they found a way to win. They played another solid defensive game and once again, goaltender Jon Quick kept them in it. Oh, and look who got his swagger back?

#11 is just 1st twice.

With the news that Wayne Simmonds was injured and going to be out for at least this game, Coach Murray once again was forced to juggle his lines to find the right combination. And that means Teddy Purcell, with 1 goal in his last 28 games found his way back onto the top line. And the other line that was created for most of the 3rd period was Alexander Frolov, Michal Handzus and Oscar Moller... I kinda love the idea of this line.

"Awww, man! THIS is the season I'm going to get traded?
Shark farts!"

Tonight was "LA Dodger Night with the Kings" at Staples Center. I don't know about you, but when I think of baseball... I think of cold, cloudy nights spent in Downtown Los Angeles.

You can almost smell the grass...
... being smoked in all the artist lofts.

I'm all for team pride in Los Angeles... and if any two sports are going to come together... I'm glad it's baseball and hockey. Because I hate basketball and I especially hate the Lakers. I guess having Dodger Legend (?) Eric Karros drop the first puck tonight was payback for this guy throwing out the first pitch at Dodger Stadium over the summer.

How can a guy look so cool in one uniform
and so dorky in another?

But people don't realize that there has been a long tradition of Dodgers and Kings coming together in the Los Angeles community. And the LA Kings website has the AMAZING pictures to prove it!

Greatest. Photo. Ever.

The Bulldog signing autographs at the Great Western Forum.
If you squint your eyes, you may see your author way in the back as a 12 year old.

Not really a stretch as Shawn Green did start out playing for Toronto.

I kinda want to frame this and put it on my office wall.

So how do the Kings honor the long tradition of winning baseball in Los Angeles? WITH ICE GIRLS WEARING DODGER T-SHIRTS!

And Dodger caps too.

The worst part about this promotion was that the Ice Girls only wore the t-shirts and hats for the 2nd period. By the 3rd period, they had slipped back into something more comfortable.

And tonight, our lucky section even was visited by one of these Space Age Santas and their little elf... bringing the row in front of us what everyone wants for Christmas... Popcornopolis!

"I said who wants some chocolate drizzled popcorn, bitches!"

The newest nominee for worst job ever... the Ice Girl Elf Helper.

Hate to rain on the first place party too quickly but huge news for the Kings came out after this exciting game. Royal Half favorite, Battle of California favorite and the 2nd best Wayne to ever play for the Kings, Wayne Simmonds (sorry Wayne McBean!), is heading under the knife for some surgery on the meniscus in his left knee.

This is a HUGE loss for the Los Angeles Kings. If Simmonds was playing this well over the past few weeks with this type of injury... I can only imagine how much better he can get. Oh and what else? Ryan Smyth is not available for the 3 game Canadian road trip this week... but should return to the Kings lineup at home on December 26th. Finally.

This is the Los Angeles Kings curse. Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I have seen it before. Just when the Kings get rocking with overall play... they get decimated by injuries. The Kings have played amazingly well during the absence of players like Ryan Smyth and Rob Scuderi. But the Kings will miss what Wayne Simmonds brings every night... and I'll miss seeing this guy out there each night.

Oh I'll be back... and I'll be badder than ever.

Sunday is an off day for the Kings and then it's time for the players to put on their toques and head up north to Canada... America's Largest National Forest... for 3 tough games in 4 nights against Vancouver, Edmonton and Calgary. Let's see what this first place team is made of. Damn, it feels weird to say that.

A Long December: Take 2

2009-12-12T08:26:00.000-08:00

Normally, December in Los Angeles is something you live for. It hovers around 65 degrees and most years it's sunny on Christmas Morning. Sure, sure... my friends from the East Coast always complain about the lack of snow and how it just feels weird shopping for presents without it being cold and I think about how people I know in New York have to shovel snow out of their driveway to get to work in the morning... mainly I think about this with my sunroof open as I drive to work.

For the Los Angeles Kings hockey team, December has been a month of horrors over the past few seasons. Let's go to the Sports Machine!

DEC 05 (aka the last season the Kings had an overall winning record for the NHL season)
9-5-1

DEC 06
5-8-1

DEC 07
4-11-1

DEC 08
5-7-3

As you can see the last few Decembers for the Kings have been much less Miracle on 34th Street and way more the story about Phoebe Cates' dad dying in a chimney from Gremlins.

This December has been a different story for the Los Angeles Kings. So far, they are undefeated in regulation and have points in all December games for a record of 5-0-1. Does this mean they are destined for the playoffs? No, anything can change, just ask the 2003-2004 Los Angeles Kings team that was all set for the playoffs and then lost 11 straight to end the season. Thanks, Anson Carter!

Tonight, the Kings take on the Dallas Stars at home. The Stars are coming off an 11 round shootout victory over the San Jose Sharks last night. And I'm just going to go ahead and say it... if the Kings win tonight, they'll be tied for first in the Pacific Division. In December.

Check out the always awesome Defending Big D and The Other 6 Seconds for all your news, notes and predictions of all things Dallas Stars. Man, I hate the Dallas Stars. And I hate Turco.

Twenty Spot

2009-12-11T10:35:00.000-08:00

I encourage you, Royal Half reader, to find the NHL pre-season prediction article that has the Los Angeles Kings and Phoenix Coyotes battling it out in December in a match-up of 2 of the NHL's hottest teams. The Coyotes, who have been living out the real life story of the classic motion picture, Major League, came into this game winners of 5 straight. While the Los Angeles Kings were coming off points in 6 straight games. Go ahead, look it up... not Wyshynski, not Mirtle, even yours truly had them barely making the playoffs. What does this all mean? This is why we love professional sports. Because you can do all the research, crunch all the stats, go to all the practices... and you still have no clue that on December 11, 2009... your favorite team is 1 point out of first place.

Yeah, I'd say that was a major improvement.

Kings 3, Coyotes 2, Losing Franchises Elsewhere, A Glimmer of Hope

This was another excellent game. You didn't have to be a fan of either of these teams to enjoy the amazing goaltending and defensive play of both opponents. It's just so fun to watch Los Angeles Kings hockey right now as the team is firing on all cylinders... and doing it without Ryan Smyth. As a fan, and especially as a season ticket holder (even a Half Season Ticket Holder) the greatest reward is sticking with a team through thick and thin so that one day you see it all come together. Right now, it is all coming together for this team. I mean, I know it's only early December but check out this IM conversation between myself and Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy after the San Jose game.

I'm the little crown. There is no way Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy would cry.
He's too much of a man.

GM Dean Lombardi has molded this team in his own image, given them an identity and allowed them to excel. The only question now is who will he pick up later in the season to really push these guys over the edge. I mean, how can you not love a team that has this on their 4th line?

"Hey, Teddy... it only took me 5 games to score. Suck it."

"Act like you been there before, Oscar."

Lil' Swedish Scamp, Oscar Moller, had a great goal tonight on an even better pass from Wayne Simmonds. Over at Battle of California, RudyKelly is having a great debate about his nickname "MeatTrain" for Wayne Simmonds. While I love this nickname, I suggest a new one for the 21 year-old 3rd line winger... "Midas." Because from Alexander Frolov to Scott Parse to Oscar Moller... everything this kid touches turns to muthafuckin' gold.

Oh right, he already won gold in 2008 as a junior.

The 5-4 shootout in San Jose on Wednesday may not show it, but ever since Rob Scuderi has returned to the Kings lineup, their defense has been stellar. And last night, Coach Murray decided to dress 7 defensemen in order to give them a bit of rest throughout the game. It seemed to work.

The newest award-winning drama from AMC.... "D Men."

But the biggest news last night was the triumphant return of Kings sideline reporter Heidi Androl to the Fox Sports West HD airwaves. In all honesty, I'm really proud of their decision to not suspend Heidi because of her pending DUI arrest. When it comes to the media, people can be crucified for bad decisions, but it's nice to know that Fox Sports West HD has Androl's back. Did someone say Androl's back?!?

I promise to be good.

The Kings have done a few "Spotlight" nights on different players throughout the season and tonights one was on Kings forward and former supermodel dater, Jarret Stoll. Heidi took a tour of the new home that Stoll is building in... guess where? Manhattan Beach. Did you know that Stoll currently lives with Brad Richardson and Teddy Purcell. I bet those are some fun friday nights! I call first game on Xbox!

So, yeah I play hockey.

Oh, Jarret... you are SO funny!

Jarret took Heidi on a VIP tour of his new home showing off some of the challenges that go into building a home from scratch.

Man, Coach Murray's power play diagrams are intense.

Stoll also showed off his soon-to-be new pool. But with all that rain last night in LA, I could only think about Poltergeist.

A real Canadian would have built a backyard rink.

This was a real life construction site... people are working 24 hours a day to build Jarret Stoll's new home. I'm sure being a pro athlete and potentially having fans working at your house all the time can be difficult.

"I still can't believe we traded Visnovsky for this guy."

And then Stoll pulled a move that I'm sure he's pulled countless times before in his young life... he brought the chick upstairs.

"Yeah, I just want to show you my trophies. Right this way."

Also, throughout the night during the celebration of all things Jarret Stoll, they showed pictures of him playing hockey as a child. But I'm not sure how this current photo of Oscar Moller snuck in.

This game truly had everything... even a surprise celebrity guest at the end!

Hey guys, remember me! I'm the reason this team was doing so well!
Oh... right. See ya soon?

Check out the awesome HipChecks and Five For Howling for all things Phoenix (and eventually Quebec) related. The Kings take on the Dallas Stars Saturday night at Staples and Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I will be there.

Drought Resistant

2009-12-09T23:57:00.000-08:00

Wow. What a game. Those were two elite NHL teams out there on the ice in San Jose tonight and it's still hard to believe that the Los Angeles Kings are one of them. The Kings skated up and down the rink with the Sharks all game long and saved one of their best efforts for this important matchup. The Kings are playing with incredible confidence right now... how confident are they?

The Kings are so confident, they can blow snot rockets while they celebrate a goal being scored.
Stay classy, Randy Jones!

Coach Murray rolled the dice on this one by dusting off Kings backup goaltender Erik Ersberg and throwing him into a game against the NHL's #2 overall team. Sure, Coach Murray's reasoning was sound enough... he felt that the more important game is Thursday's game at home against Phoenix... but even Erik Ersberg was surprised by the decision to start him tonight.

"I'm starting against whom?
Shouldn't we wait until we play Edmonton?"

But lil' Erik Ersberg played his heart out tonight. Throwing himself in front of everything the Sharks came at him with... and the Sharks came at him strong and often the entire game, taking 34 shots against the young Swede. Ersberg did his job... he made the saves when he needed to and kept the Kings close. Sure that Manny Malhotra goal was one he should have saved... but who gives a shit... the Kings beat the Sharks!

"Could you get Quick's autograph for me? My kid loves him."

The Royal Half Whipping Boy™ Teddy Purcell came out of his shell tonight with a beautiful power play goal, thus justifying Coach Murray keeping him in the lineup during a 27 game goalless streak. Purcell was pretty much the only dude not named Scuderi or O'Donnell to not score in the last 27 games.

"Okay, I finally scored one. So you said you'd give me Rachel Hunter's number.
Nope."

As a fan of a team, you always hope that your best players will step up in a big game. And by step up, I mean break a 14 game goal scoreless streak. Welcome back to the NHL, Anze Kopitar. You want to see what the exhale of a deep sigh of relief looks like in Slo-Mo?

Oh thank god.

Kopitar's goal was off a beautiful pass from newly 20-Year-Old, Drew Doughty. This was one of Doughty's best games yet. I have a question to the hockey world... when do we start talking about Drew Doughty as a potential Norris Trophy candidate? Cause he's kinda leading NHL defensemen with 8 goals.

From Prince to King is the wrong analogy. It sells Drew too short.
How about "From King to Atilla the Hun."

That 3rd period was quite a doozy with enough back and forth play from both teams to make your hair turn blue.

Must be the San Jose player's wives section.

And the 3rd period was a perfect time for Fox Sports West HD to unveil their latest breakthrough in television advertising... covering the lower half of the screen with an ad!

Hmm... I wonder if Drew Doughty gets a discount?

And then, wouldn't you know it, with Teddy Purcell and Anze Kopitar breaking their futility streaks... Captain Dustin Brown just wanted to get in on the action a little bit with this game-winning goal, his first in 15 games.

Sure, Sharks goaltender Evgeni Nabokov was definitely off his game tonight and really didn't look solid at all. But the Kings took advantage of that and won the game. Want to know what it looks like when a young team that is having fun wins? It looks like this:

I mean how could any Kings fan in their right minds not be happy with this game?

Maybe it's because they didn't make the Ice Girls?

Check out the great Fear the Fin and Couch Tarts and see if they say "shit... the Kings are finally good." Thought this was an important game? Well, Thursday at Staples Center, the Phoenix Coyotes come into town a mere 4 points behind the Los Angeles Kings. Michal Handzus... I believe it's your turn!

Wow... this graphic was from 5 games ago... and they didn't even include Teddy Purcell.

Flame Retardant

2009-12-08T08:48:00.000-08:00

The Los Angeles Kings had not beat the Calgary Flames since February 15th of 2008. For the hockey layman... 1 time in their last 11 meetings. The Kings once again did not bring their best game... but they still walked away with a victory. Having Rob Scuderi back in the lineup made a big difference on defense as Scuderi and Matt Greene did a great job of smothering the Flames and preventing any real offense from the team. And young goaltender Jon Quick hands-down had his best game of the season. He out-Kiprusoff'd Calgary goaltender Miikka Kiprusoff. Don't believe me? Then check out this save.

Kings 2, Calgary Flames 1

This night featured a couple great highlights... the kind of highlights that would be on Sportscenter...if Sportscenter still featured hockey nightly. Kings rookie Scott Parse now has 11 points in 21 games and 9 points in his last 9 games. And last night... he scored one of the prettiest goals of the Kings season.

Not sure if I'd describe Scott Parse as "lanky."

With leading scorer (and former NHL league leader) Anze Kopitar now scoreless in 13 straight games, just try to imagine where the Kings would be without Scott Parse, Wayne Simmonds and Michal Handzus. I love watching this line play every night and with Coach Murray making incredibly quick line changes last night, even Murray seemed eager to get that line out as much as possible.

It may have taken you 5 years, Scooter Parse... but welcome to the NHL.

As far as Teddy Purcell and PurcellWatch '09?

Teddy Purcell had 09:45 minutes on the ice and newly bearded Oscar Moller had 06:52. Moller still gets pushed around out there, much more than Purcell does, but his potential offensive upside seems to excite Kings fans much, much more than Purcell's can. Well at least the fans that showed up to this game.

Pleeeeenty of good seats available.

The LA Times might be worried about the lack of attendance at Kings' home games... but last night was the first game all season I felt like the arena was empty. I mean... a Monday night home game against a team from Calgary when it's close to freezing outside doesn't bring in the crowds? Bah! It sucks that more people weren't there last night because they missed the new space-aged Santa costumes on the Kings Ice Crew.

They should just go ahead and wear these year round.

And since it is the holiday season, the Team LA store was busting out some great holiday gifts for Kings fans of all ages.

It's a former King Michael Cammalleri power bracelet!
This bracelet proves that you are tall enough for rides at Disneyland.

If you watching you money this holiday season then check out this heavily discounted lovely bobblehead.

If you push the button on the base it goes:
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

There was a lot of talk last night around the arena from fans about the recent legal troubles and subsequent absence of Kings sideline reporter Heidi Androl from the game last night. Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I thought it strange that Rich Hammond had made no mention of the arrest. We got into a discussion of just how "free" Hammond was to report on Kings coming and goings. Well after the game, Hammond threw this into his post-game notes:

"Heidi Androl, who does on-camera work for the Kings on TV and online, did not work Monday. She was arrested early Monday morning, reportedly for suspicion of driving under the influence."

I certainly DO NOT want the Kings Insider to turn into a gossip blog. There are plenty of other blogs for that. But I do think it is important for the Kings organization to acknowledge what happened... even if they get into all the details. I didn't watch the game on Fox Sports West... but I can only assume that Heidi was not a part of the broadcast. Because she sure wasn't on the ice for her traditional post-game interview with the games' first star.

Your post-game interview with the Kings' #1 star of the game... now 150% less sexier.

Who knew that Patrick O'Neal had such a wicked bald spot?!

A nice victory against the Calgary Flames puts the Los Angeles Kings in a 3-way tie for 3rd in the Western Conference. 3 big games all in a row coming up this week... San Jose on the road Wednesday, Phoenix at home on Thursday and Dallas at home on Saturday. Those are 6 possible Pacific Division points at play. It's almost mid-December and these games mean something. It's the greatest gift a Kings fan could get.

Breaking News!!!

2009-12-07T14:04:00.000-08:00

Huge breaking news hit the Los Angeles Kings community this morning. You've all probably read about it by now, but in case you haven't... I felt like The Royal Half should chime in because this person is one of our favorites members of the Kings family. Here is the press release:

"[Oscar] Moller has also grown a beard since his last stint with the Kings, probably to protect against those New Hampshire winters."

A Royal Half tipster sent in this photo of newly called up Oscar Moller with his beard.

Just in time for the holidays!

Oh, and Kings sideline reporter Heidi Androl was arrested for suspicion of DUI this morning at 2:45am.

One can only assume she was driving home from the Luc Robitaille Hall of Fame Gala (check out Mayor Manor's live tweets from the event here) I'm really ready for this Luc Robitaille stuff to be over with. Now it's starting to affect the ones I love. I have a feeling we may not be seeing Heidi on tonight's telecast.

Purcell Watch '09

2009-12-06T23:26:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official. Apparently GM Dean Lombardi wants a winger with a little more long term offensive upside than Brad Richardson in his lineup. So the call to Manchester has been made and lil' Oscar Moller is coming back to Los Angeles!

I'm back, bitches!

And what does that mean for the rest of the current roster? Well, it means that we are back on PurcellWatch 09!!!

Threat Level: Red --- A potential benching in lieu of Raitis Ivanans or Peter Harrold

You have to assume that Moller will get a shot at cracking the top two lines. Heck, put him out there and just have him scream at Anze Kopitar in Swedish until Kopitar scores a goal for the first time in 12 games. But if that little Swedish scamp cracks the Kings lineup... it could mean the end for the Teddy Purcell Experiment.

Oscar and Teddy during much happier times. Much, much happier times for Purcell.

Actually, Oscar Moller getting called up from Manchester may be the best thing possible for Teddy Purcell. Did you hear about the fancy new transportation that the Los Angeles Kings sprung for in order to get their prospects back and forth between Manchester, NH and Los Angeles, CA?

It's the Manchester Express Ambulance!

Getting called up from Manchester pretty much has been the kiss of death for all young Kings prospects. Don't believe me? Why don't you ask Richard Clune.

Clune pretty much made the Kings out of training camp 2 years in a row... only to suffer injuries that kept him from the final roster. Oh, and remember this guy?

No... I don't remember him either.

Alec Martinez skated as a King for only the first game of the season. And then he suffered the dreaded "high ankle sprain." Oh... and what about Half Jew and High Energy forward Brandon Segal, called up from Manchester on November 23rd, just a few weeks ago?

You might have to think a little while about this joke.

And finally, 19 year old Russian, Andrei Loktionov, was also called up on November 23rd from Manchester to make his NHL debut against the Edmonton Oilers. How'd that work out again?

Oh right. Good luck next year!

So I ask you... the Manchester Monarchs... a pipeline for Kings prospects... or a terror highway of disaster. I guess Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and myself will find out in person against Calgary Monday night.

---

In other, more self-serving news... The Royal Half has made it to the 2nd round of the NHL Arena "Blog-Off." This is exciting because it's the first time anything Kings related has made it to the 2nd round since 2001! (HEY-OH!)

So, I ask again, The Royal Half reader, please head to the NHL Arena and cast a vote for yours truly. Here's the link:

Kings Blog-Off Round 2

Not So Lucky

2009-12-05T17:16:00.000-08:00

Today was bobblehead day for Luc Robitaille as the Los Angeles Kings celebrated his selection to the NHL Hall of Fame... a month after the Hall of Fame ceremony. Obviously Luc going into the Hall of Fame is a big deal for Kings fans as he is the first Kings-drafted player from my generation to make it into the Hall as a King. (Sorry Marcel Dionne and Wayne Gretzky!) But for some reason... I haven't been able to get that excited about it. I've always liked and respected Luc Robitaille for his dedication to the Kings and his 9th round "rags to riches" story... but he's never been one of my favorite players. I've never had the same excitement for him that I had for Gretzky or Adam Deadmarsh or Anze Kopitar or well... Chris Kontos. But my most fond memory of Luc was the start of the 1992-1993 NHL season... better known as the only time the Los Angeles Kings went to the Stanley Cup.

1993 Stanley Cup Playoffs. Sigh.

Many people forget that Wayne Gretzky was injured to start the 1992-1993 season. (Due to a lame check from behind by Gary Suter during the 1991 Canada Cup) So rookie coach Barry Melrose handed over the captainship of the team to Luc and basically said... keep us afloat till Wayne gets back. Luc did just that and ended up having a one of the greatest NHL seasons for a left winger with 63 goals and 125 points. I couldn't find the video online, but I'll never forget that moment in the Kings locker room after the Game 7 victory over the Toronto Maple Leafs where Luc is arm and arm with Dave Taylor and screaming "we're going to the damn finals!"

The Kings went all out today at the game, featuring Robitaille merchandise where ever you could see.

And much like that great ceremony in Montreal last night, the Los Angeles Kings also invited back old, retired NHL'ers who once played with Luc in Los Angeles.

Darryl Sydor is still in the NHL?!? WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Over the past few years, us Kings fans have been witness to Luc's last game ceremony, then his jersey retirement ceremony and now today, his Hall of Fame selection ceremony.... and to be honest... I'm kinda over it. But Luc kept this one short and sweet.

The greatest thing he said today was to Kings Captain Dustin Brown... Luc said he hopes the next time they have one of these things it's when Brown is lifting the cup. That would be the best move as Kings' President of Business Operations that Luc could ever make.

Someday. Someday.

Oh right, there was a game today too. The St. Louis Blues are in town and as any Kings fan knows... when teams from the mid-west and east coast come into Staples... so do their LA-based fans.

Yeah, St. Louis doesn't have the kind of fan base in LA that a Pittsburgh or Detroit might have.
These were really the only Blues fans I saw all night.

Kings 4, St. Louis Blues 5

The Kings got a point today. That's all you can really say about this game. I don't blame Jon Quick for most of those goals against and he did make some spectacular saves throughout the game. That line of Wayne Simmonds, Michal Handzus and Scott Parse is on fire... and every time they are on the ice you get the feeling they might score. Thankfully they are scoring... because no one else seems to be.

"Guys... they may call us the 3rd line... but we know we are the 1st."

GM Dean Lombardi really is a genius. I can't believe he traded a 3rd round draft pick during the 2008 draft for one of the hottest scorers in the league.

It's Brad Richard-SON? Oh, my bad.

Sure, he may not be having quite the season Brad Richards is having in Dallas, but Brad Richardson now has 4 points in 3 games. Maybe its been the great play of Brad Richardson that finally convinced the Kings to start selling Dean Lombardi merchandise at the Team LA store.

I like it. But it would be better as a t-shirt.

There is no reason to panic after losing this game in a shootout. But the reason to be concerned is the play of Anze Kopitar. Sure, he's had assists the last 2 games, but he is being overshadowed by Wayne Simmonds and Brad Richardson for christsakes. And some renowned bloggers are even suggesting it might be time to sit him for your fantasy team until he breaks out of this slump. Anze Kopitar is the player that drives this team and I don't care when Ryan Smyth is coming back... it's time for Kopitar to take the wheel.

The wheel of the team, Anze!. Not of the Parking Spot shuttle.

Calgary on Monday at home, Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I will be there. Is it just me or does it feel like the Kings are playing every day?

Winning Ugly

2009-12-04T11:54:00.000-08:00

I think I've figured out why Ryan Smyth is taking an extra 2 weeks to rehab his injury. He's pulling some serious Jedi Knight style-training for these young kids and forcing them to learn how to score without him. Honestly, after the hot start the Kings had in October and November, did you really think the Los Angeles Kings would be looking to this guy to pick up the December slack?!?

The guy on the right, not the guy on the left.

Kings 6, Ottawa 3

Wayne Simmonds is officially on fire. And Kings fans are loving it. We all fell in love with the play of Wayne Simmonds last season and talked non-stop about his potential. Well, now he is fulfilling it and he is the 2nd leading goal scorer on the Kings. How much do Kings fan love Wayne Simmonds? This much.

Come on Kings fans... you can do better than this.

I hated Brad Richardson last season. HATED. Even referred to him as the Brian Willsie of last seasons' team. But man, have I come around on the guy! Even before his recent scoring streak, this guy has impressed me with his strong play. It is obvious he knows he's been given a chance... and he's trying to make the most out of it... unlike that other guy... what's his name again?

Teddy Purcell. Former Los Angeles Kings prospect.

You don't believe this blogger when he says (over and over again) that Teddy Purcell's time in the big leagues is coming to an end? Well how about when the coach says it?!

"Of Purcell, Murray said, “Given the opportunity, he can score some goals. At least I’ve been told that.”

That's called motivation, bitches. The same type of motivation NHL referees give to their favorite players.

"Look, I know that fan club sign was lame.
But you can do this. You can score. Okay, buddy?"

And what does uber-center Michal Handzus think about his little pal's recent scoring streak?

No, actually he just thinks that the holiday packs
are a great gift this season for friends and family.

Also, the recent play of waiver wire pickup Randy Jones has been beyond stellar... some might even say Kyle Quincey-esque. Randy Jones now has the highest average points per 60 minutes of any NHL defenseman that has played 10 games. That means he's been good. Oh, and Dean Lombardi gave up no assets to get him. I know RudyKelly's been tracking how creepy Randy Jones looks physically... and I totally agree with him. But I'm starting to think that the ladies disagree.

There is something very Freudian here... but I can't quite place it.

This was a game that in no way, shape or form did the Kings deserve to win. But that is what good teams can do... they win games they aren't supposed to win. But good teams also usually can score on back to back 5 on 3's.

Generally you should score when the opposing team has
this many guys in the box and there hasn't been a fight.

So now the Kings have won 3 in a row and people are back to being excited about them as a team. Even the epic hockey publication The Hockey News is putting a King on the front cover for the first time since the Gretzky Era.

This weeks feature story...
NHL players on 11 game scoreless streaks... and the fans who love them.

Anze Kopitar did look the best he has in a few games last night. But don't tell me that Kings Fan Nation didn't gasp when they saw this.

This usually doesn't end well.

But the point is everyone is excited about the way the Kings are playing now. EVERYONE. Drew Doughty is excited.

Doughty's O-face.

Heidi Androl is excited.

The coolest part is she is wearing hockey skates.

Even Waldo is excited.

I suggest that Peter Harrold's new nickname is "Waldo."

And the entire nation of Taiwan is excited.

Wait... what?

That's right. The Kings unveiled their latest corporate sponsor last night... the Taiwanese Tourist Board! Now this is a perfect relationship. I can't tell you HOW many times Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I have sat up in our seats and said "when are we going to take our ladies to Taiwan?" Now... we have no excuse. You win again, Kings Marketing Department!

We will be there in person tomorrow against Andy Murray and the St. Louis Blues. And it's Luc Robitaille Bobble Head night (or day since the game is at 1pm). Because there is not better way to honor the NHL's all-time leader in scoring by a left wing and a man who netted 557 goals as a member of the Los Angeles Kings... than with a novelty toy.

Toasted Sub

2009-12-02T08:06:00.000-08:00

It's Game One of the Subway Freeway Face-Off™ between the Los Angeles Kings and the Anaheim Ducks... and boy this game did not disappoint. When the Kings want to show the Ducks just how much they've improved this season... what do you do? You send in Brad Richardson, Randy Jones and Scott Parse to finish the job. That's what you do. Just look at how excited Dustin Brown gets about secondary scoring.

I used to score goals too.

Kings 4, Ducks 3, Subway 1

The line of Wayne Simmonds, Michal Handzus and Scott Parse are carrying this team right now. Sure, Justin Williams had a nice goal tonight but Anze Kopitar, Dustin Brown and Alexander Frolov have been MIA. How MIA you ask?

This MIA.

This is probably a great thing for the Kings overall. With Ryan Smyth back on the ice skating in practice, Coach Murray has simply told his star players to take a few games off and have the team work on its secondary scoring.

"Frolly, water please."
"Frolly, water please!!"
"When you are leading the team in scoring,
then I'll get you water. But until then, Frolly get me water!"

The Kings unusual policy of torturing their young prospects reared its ugly head again tonight, as Half-Jew and All-Energy Brandon Segal went missing after the first period. I have a feeling the players in Manchester are cutting the phone lines around the office for fear of getting called up to the NHL. But what was the most important thing we learned tonight about the Anaheim-Los Angeles rivalry?

People from LA are still better looking than people from Orange County.

Okay, I'll admit it. When the Subway Freeway Face-Off™ logo appeared on my HD television screen, I liked it better than I did earlier in the day.

Yes, that dude on the right is wearing a "Parros Nation" t-shirt.

But when the logo is shrunk down... it truly becomes a disaster.

Yeah, that reads really well.

It must have been Intern day at Fox Sports Prime Ticket HD because not only was the camera action on the game way zoomed out... the on-air graphics had a very.... unusual feel to them. For instance, when the announcers wanted to talk about the great amount of young stars between the two teams playing tonight, this graphic lit up my HD screen.

Oh.. it's the lesser known observatory in Los Angeles, the Young Stars Observatory.

Then, this thing appeared...

Oh... I get it... they are all stars... young stars! Very clever, Prime Ticket!

And then... the piéce de résistance... all these young stars... formed a constellation!

If they really wanted to go for it, they would have had
Wilco's "California Stars" playing in the background.

In between periods, John Ahlers and Brian Hayward talked about all the news that was going on in the NHL. And some intern got to bust out his PrintShop skills on live television.

Really? This is what their production team came up with?
Was it a last minute decision to do this segment?

And then Prime Ticket HD decided to showcase the 3 year history of the Subway Freeway Face-Off™... as if it started in the early 1990's on ESPN2...

And don't assume that Subway isn't the only fast food chain in bed with the Anaheim Ducks... their penalty kill is sponsored by one of the finest Mexican restaurants in all of Southern California!

Del Taco! The bold sponsor of the penalty kill!
How does one work on being bold during practice?

But the producers saved the most-telling on-screen graphic for last... as they outlined the playoff history of these 2 clubs...

Well, I don't think this one is all that particularly funny.
In fact, it's kind of mean.

The Kings are 10 points up on the Anaheim Ducks and I couldn't be happier. Ottawa comes into Staples Center on Thursday after being beaten up by the San Jose Sharks last night. It's going to be so great to see Dany Heatley play, since being in the Pacific Division you only really get one chance a year to see him skate. Oh... what's that?

Subway. Sub what? Sub why?

2009-12-01T10:54:00.000-08:00

Remember how frumpy and unattractive reality star Kate Gosselin was when she first started appearing on television?

Well, eventually she got a stylist. And it did wonders for her. I'm thinking it's about time the Los Angeles Kings got a stylist. Sure they've had the makeover wonders of Dean Lombardi for the past few years... and he's taken the Los Angeles Kings from being frumpy and unattractive to being one of the most sought after young starlets in all of the NHL. But just when you think the Los Angeles Kings have it all together and full understand their "brand"... they go and do something like this:

Subway has come on as the corporate sponsor for the made-up "Freeway Face-Off" crosstown rivalry between the Los Angeles Kings and the Anaheim Ducks. It's bad enough that they have been trying to brand this divisional matchup for 2 years... but now... they've made it even more confusing for fans. You can't take the subway from Los Angeles to Anaheim. You can barely take the subway anywhere in Los Angeles that you need to go. You have to take the Freeway. That's just how it is here. If this were the Yankees-Mets crosstown rivalry and Subway stepped into being a corporate sponsor... then you have genius synergy marketing. I feel like Toyota missed out big time on sponsoring this one. Or even the Los Angeles County Metropolitan Transportation Authority could have stepped up. The "Metro Freeway Face-Off! Brought to you by the 405! Come check out our new lanes!"

A before and after of the "Freeway Face-Off" logo:

Old.

New.

As Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy, the VP of Design and Acquisitions for The Royal Half, commented to me this morning... "that design is god awful and the Subway logo is bigger than the team logos." You would also think that maybe Subway would have a presence at Staples Center in order to sponsor this rivalry... but sadly there is no way to get a delicious Italian BMT sub anywhere in the arena during the game. In fact the closest Subway to Staples is 4 blocks away. Unless you are talking about the Metro Blue Link Subway stop, which is only 2 blocks away... see I'm confused! All this talk about playing the Ducks just makes me realize how inefficient our public transportation is in Los Angeles! Maybe the Kings should have gone with "The Budweiser Lounge's Fish Taco Freeway Face-Off."

Just like most of Hollywood... the Kings have turned from a fresh-faced young teen star...

Into a raging force that is getting a ton of attention...

Tonight, against the Anaheim Ducks in the first "Subway™ Freeway Face-Off" of the NHL season, the Kings will look to shake loose from their annoying cousin from Orange County. This season, since the Ducks have struggled from the start, the Kings need to win these games to further distance itself from the always dangerous Ducks team. I almost feel like the Ducks just started out this season poorly so they could make it interesting. And then, after the Olympic Break, all of their amazing players will say "okay, now let's do this for real" and they will shoot up past everyone in the Pacific.

I may not be happy with the Kings decisions in terms of corporate partners... but I've definitely approved of their Hollywood makeover so far. I just hope they don't end up as annoying as this guy:

A Family Affair

2009-11-29T11:55:00.000-08:00

Now that's more like it! This was one of the best games I've seen in person this season and if the Los Angeles Kings can continue to play at this level until Ryan Smyth comes back... then the team will be alright. Sure, the Chicago Blackhawks played the day before and were at the end of a long road trip... but for this game... the Kings were playing Coach Murray style hockey. Jon Quick has now had a couple consistent games in a row and then this guy is picking up the slack for Anze Kopitar.

They call me Wayne for a reason, bitches!

Kings 2, Blackhawks 1

Everyone has been talking such great things about the Chicago Blackhawks... and how they are the best team in the West right now after crushing San Jose 7-2. But coming into this game the Blackhawks only had 2 more wins than the Kings. (Yes, yes, I know the Blackhawks have played 2 less games... details, details) There were quite a few fans representing Chicago at the game tonight but they were much less vocal than any group of fans that have come into the Staples Center this season.

Wow, Arnason had 20 goals as rookie.
Now he's in the KHL.

At least Kings fans don't make such irresponsible choices with their $300 personalized jerseys.

Dude... too soon.

After spending Thanksgiving playing with my niece and nephew, I think I finally understand the Kings' difficulty with Alexander Frolov. He is the square peg... and Coach Murray is trying to fit him into the triangle, the circle and the rectangle... and Coach Murray doesn't really seem to have a square for him to fit into.

A rare glimpse inside the Kings coaches room.

I really like the way Michal Handzus, Wayne Simmonds and Scott Parse are playing together. If Smyth was back on the 1st line... Kings fans would be praising Wayne Simmonds great secondary scoring instead of the primary scoring he's been doing for the team. Jarret Stoll and Dustin Brown are basically soulmates out there... and it pains me to say it... because I hated him so much last year... but at this point, I'd rather see Brad Richardson skate with those 2 instead of Teddy Purcell. Purcell is so non-existent out there right now and casual fans in the crowd are starting to scream "do something Purcell!" more and more. There has been a lot of talk lately about Matt Moulson's explosion on the Long Island scene... and how the Kings may have given up on him too early. I don't think anyone is really ready to give up on Purcell... but how much longer are Dean Lombardi and Coach Murray going to wait for this guy to do something?

"How cool are those new Jesse James clothes, man!"

Tonight was the special unveiling of the Jesse James line of Kings Specific Lifestyle clothing. Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I checked them out during the intermission... and we were not impressed. Besides the obvious douchery of the designs... the clothes themselves felt cheap and the printing of the logos was pretty poor quality. Oh and Kings Marketing Department... if you are trying to get me to buy some new clothing line... covering up the Ice Crew isn't the best way to get your point across.

I liked it better when they were half naked.

But the Kings Marketing department did update the much beloved Cartman from South Park cartoon that has him trash talking the opposing team. Cartman loves the 3rd jersey!

I got a call that a couple of our friends were at the game as well, and they invited us to come sit with them in Section 105. Being the dedicated fans that we are... we decided to sit with them during the 2nd period... since the Kings were shooting at that end. The seats were actually really nice.

As the period went on, Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy noticed that we were only a few rows back from a major celebrity!

Kopitar family in the house!

That's correct... the gentleman on the far right is Matjaz Kopitar... father of the 3rd best scorer in the NHL. I'm sure it must be great for a father to watch their son play hockey... but it must be even cooler when it's one of the best players in the NHL who is in the first year of his 7 year, 6 million dollar per contract. I'm not sure if that was Anze's little brother next to his dad, but I wonder if Keith Gretzky wore a Gretzky jersey to Edmonton Oiler home games?

Ryan Smyth skated today, a day ahead of schedule. The Kings are very smart in not trying to rush him back. It doesn't seem like the Kings are making any call-ups from Manchester right now... but I have to imagine that Teddy Purcell's time on the any of the first 4 lines is very limited.

Vote For Royal

2009-11-28T16:00:00.000-08:00

The good folks over at the NHL Arena are running some sort of Blog Contest for all the NHL Teams. And yours truly has been included with the initial 12 teams.... 12? 12?!?... there are 12 Los Angeles Kings blogs??!?! That means there is 1 blog for every forward that plays for the Kings. Yikes, the internet is stupid.

This is the image that comes up when you Google Image Search for "LA Kings Blogger."

So you obviously come to The Royal Half for a reason. You are either personal friends with me... or... you come here thinking that it's Battle of California. So let's take a stand, Friends of Royal Half and cast a vote for me against all the other Kings sites that don't have hockey dick jokes and humorous screencaps! (Except for Life in Hockeywood, Kings Kool-Aid, Mayors Manor and My Views from Section 310... those guys are cool.)

You can go here to vote: Kings Blog Off - Round 1

You have to register for your vote to count, so if you could spend 5 minutes doing it... I would forever be your internet friend and I promise to continue my hard-hitting journalism of all things Los Angeles Kings! Like these:

All hail the internet... AND GO KINGS GO!

Blame Canada

2009-11-27T12:39:00.000-08:00

There's no better way to celebrate the great holiday of Thanksgiving than to watch the Los Angeles Kings battle against 2 teams on the road in Canada! The Canadians hate the freedom that we provide for them and they throw it back in our face by not celebrating Thanksgiving. So these 2 games weren't just about getting crucial points in the Western Conference... no... these games were about freedom!

Canada may not have Thanksgiving but they have cool hockey graphics.

Kings 3, Oilers 1

A solid effort overall by the Kings in Game 1 of their back to back Canadian Thanksgiving Road Trip. Now, I know that the Edmonton Oilers have really embraced the retro-1980's look this season... but this is just getting ridiculous. Look what they had playing goal for them tonight...

Oh.... not DeLorean? I see now....

If I hadn't already known that the Oilers were participating in a mustache growing event for charity... I might have thought that they had a team of pedophiles... or even worse... hipsters!

God, I'm so glad no one on the Kings looks as lame as these guys!

Kings fans... lock up your children.

Maybe Patrick O'Sullivan was right... the Canadian Press does care more about hockey than they do in LA. The Edmonton broadcast of this game featured an "in-depth" profile of the teeth problems that 19-Year-Old Drew Doughty had this season. And they took it to a level I've never seen Rich Hammond go.

Feed me, Seymour.

Los Angeles Kings 19 year old uber-rookie Andrei Loktionov made his NHL debut in this game centering a line between Dustin Brown and fellow Russian Alexander Frolov.

Loktionov is one of the very promising rookies in the Kings system and his debut, although sudden, was one that many Kings fans were looking forward to. So how'd it turn out?

Awesome! That's how it went!

So with memories of the 2003-2004 season in the back of Kings fans heads... this team is now facing an injury crisis. So what do you do when 3 of your starters and the 1 rookie that was supposed to replace them are all out? You get all "Dean Lombardi Crafty"... that's what you do!

Welcome to the Bigs!

Did you even know there was such a thing as a one game contract? No, of course you didn't... but Dean Lombardi did. So Dean had 2009 #1 Draft Pick Brayden Schenn suit up for the Kings last night versus the Vancouver Canucks. Schenn made it through the whole game with his shoulder intact but the Kings had another now-patented 3rd Period Meltdown© and lost 4-1.

So what are the Kings to do next? With Smyth still out for another few weeks (it may be longer... Smyth didn't travel on this trip and I have a feeling this injury might be worse than the Kings are letting on) and Stoll out and Scuderi out and our prospects terrified of getting called up for fear of their arms being ripped out of the sockets... Dean Lombardi has to make a trade soon, right? Right?

Patio Furniture

2009-11-25T12:57:00.000-08:00

So here we are... 3 days after the Los Angeles Kings meltdown against the Calgary Flames and now with 2 new players in the Kings lineup. Jarret Stoll and Rob Scuderi will be on the sidelines tonight with young pups Andrei Loktionov (19!) and Brandon Segal (26) making their Kings debut tonight in Edmonton. I'm not going to pretend like I know anything about these guys... and don't believe any blogger that says they do. They are just lying to you.

This is our 2nd line center??

Brandon Segal... only half a jew.
Don't believe me? There is a forum on the web for everything!

The real story tonight in Edmonton is the complete disappearance of former King Patrick O'Sullivan. I was a big fan of Patrick during his time in Los Angeles... even feeling like he was stolen from the Minnesota Wild by Dean Lombardi during the 2006 NHL Draft. He always had the potential to be electric as a player... but he never was consistent. When Anze Kopitar signed his 7 year deal last season with the Kings the 1st line of Kopitar, O'Sullivan and Dustin Brown were to be together until at least the 2010-2011 season. And many Kings fans rejoiced in the idea of the second coming of the Triple Crown Line. And when the Kings traded him to Edmonton last season as part of the Justin Williams deal... many people, including myself, were left scratching their heads.

Now, 24 games into the new season... it's obvious that Kopitar would have never succeeded with Brown and O'Sullivan as his linemates. Sure, it was sexy to think the 3 young King studs would be together forever as a line... but Kopitar needed the speed and smart play of Justin Williams and the crafty veteran know-how of Ryan Smyth to become the player he has this season. Anze would not be leading the league in scoring with the enigmatic play of O'Sullivan on his wing.

O'Sullivan with his one smile as a member of the Los Angeles Kings.

Patrick has 6 goals in 43 games with the Oilers while Justin Williams has 6 in 31 games as a King. But the difference they've made to their teams couldn't be more opposite. Williams is an anchor on the 1st line while Sully is centering the Oilers 4th line. Edmonton has been spinning its wheels all season... and this roadtrip to Canada with the Kings #1 Left Wing, #2 Center and #4 Defensman all injured... has the potential to not be a pretty one for the Kings.

And then there were the comments. During an interview with TSN... O'Sullivan said the following about the team that had traded for him and gave him the opportunity to play on the 1st line:

What’s been the most surprising thing playing for a Canadian team?

O’SULLIVAN: It’s definitely different coming from L.A. where nobody cared and after the game we’d have two people in the room waiting to talk to us. I didn’t know what to expect when I was traded and I didn’t know how I was going to like it. But to me, I think it’s great. You want to play somewhere where hockey is important. It’s everything and more that I thought it would be. The games are sold out and it’s a fun building to play in. Outside of the weather, it’s a great city. In my opinion if you want to live somewhere warm, you can do it when you’re done playing.”

Fine. Whatever. Honestly, with the exception of the Kings employee Rich Hammond... none of the mainstream media in Los Angeles really cares all that much about ice hockey. But that doesn't mean the fans who cheered for O'Sullivan's feel the same way.

So now he is an Oiler and their blogs can write about how frustrated they are with him. And the Oilers do have some awesome bloggers. Check out The Copper and Blue and Low On Oil for the tough, working class perspective of Edmonton fans. For hockey dick jokes and HD screencaps... keep your dial set right here.

Flaming Hot

2009-11-22T23:44:00.000-08:00

At 11:46pm on Friday night I received this email from Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy:

"were you thinking we had a game tomorrow like I was?"

We had traded our October 25th game against the Columbus Blue Jackets for a later game against the Calgary Flames. Naturally, we had assumed that Calgary game was Saturday's 1pm game and had been preparing for it most of the week. Luckily, Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy actually took the time to look at the ticket and realized that it wasn't for this particular home game against the Calgary Flames but rather the one in 2 weeks. So thankfully, we were spared having to view the Los Angeles Kings suck in person. Until at least next Saturday.

Of course Quick couldn't make that save... look at all the traffic in front of him.

I don't want to talk about this game. The Kings played horribly and fell apart in the 3rd period. So luckily, The Los Angeles Kings' broadcast on Fox Sports West provided me with the only thing I like more than watching ice hockey in HD.... hot chicks in bikinis!

Power = Passion = Bikinis on the Beach

In a rather "R" rated broadcast of Los Angeles Kings hockey, throughout the entire game, the behind-the-scenes video for the Making of the LA Kings Ice Crew Calendar was promoted. And for one night, sideline reporter Patrick O'Neal was the luckiest man in show business.

I had a dream like this once, but Patrick O'Neal was nowhere to be found in it.

The most bizarre moment of the night was during the interview featured above with Debbie. Patrick O'Neal said pretty much out of nowhere "your parents must be so thrilled." Debbie answered the question with a smile, but you could tell she really wanted to say "what the hell is that supposed to mean?" It was almost the same look Justin Williams shot Patrick earlier in the night.

"Why don't you get out there and try to play without Smyth. See how you do."

In between the 2nd and 3rd period, they unveiled the behind the scenes video. And of course, the most exciting Kings ice girl of them all was leading the charge.

The video you are about to see is almost as sexy as Alexander Frolov shopping for clothes.

This video was originally broadcast on KingsVision, which is the Kings online video library. And as the readers of this blog know... most of the videos you see on the internet... look like this.

See What Develops?

Perfect for the whole family to get together and watch. Let's not forget... this was an 1pm afternoon game. This footage wasn't airing after 9pm. But the Kings are risk takers... I mean, we are talking about an organization that released this photo on its officially sanctioned Twitter feed a few hours before this game even started.

Kings girl who just fell off a mechanical bull...
or freeze frame from a David Lynch film?
You decide.

The only thing hotter than that photo?

This one.

The girl on the right is also featured on the mat of the mechanical bull. Her name is Carrlyn and her father Frank, was an NHL defenseman. I'm surprised Coach Murray hasn't tried her at left wing yet.

The Los Angeles Kings Ice Crew Calendar... a great holiday gift and a great way to distract passionate Kings fans from remembering that their team is not playing so well right now.

Lost 3 of the last 5 what now?

Okay I promised I wouldn't talk about hockey so instead I'll talk about how much I love corporate America. Why do I love corporate America? Because of stuff like this.

This Los Angeles Kings broadcast is sponsored by DirecTV.

A few minutes later, check out the logo below the Kings one...

No! This Los Angeles Kings broadcast is sponsored by Time Warner Cable!

Nice move, Fox Sports West ad sales team... getting both DirecTV and Time Warner Cable to buy some space on a Kings game. Has anyone thought about getting someone from ad sales on that first line left wing? They seem to know how to get it done.

Lifestyle Choice

2009-11-20T12:27:00.000-08:00

Wow. This one kinda almost needs no words. So here goes a picture:

That's right... your favorite television motorcycle douchebag is bringing his unique fashion sense directly to the checkbooks of Los Angeles Kings Fans. Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy brought this to my attention early this afternoon... and the news hit us harder than Ryan Smyth being out for a month. This new venture is described as "Kings-specific lifestyle clothing."

That ain't no lifestyle I want to be a part of.

It looks like Christian Audigier took a shit on the NHL catalog. And what exactly is a "Kings-specific lifestyle?" Does this lifestyle include spending 1000 plus dollars a year on season seats only to miss the playoffs for 7 straight years? Does my Kings lifestyle include trading deadline acquisitions that don't score any goals in the 11 games they play for the Kings? If anything, the Kings lifestyle... is the lifestyle of a loser. What sort of lifestyle would have you buy the jersey of your favorite player only to watch him leave the Kings the next season?

This jersey is a gateway to a lifestyle you don't wanna know about.

As Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy always says... "Lifestyle specific clothing is also known as clothing (specifically too expensive for your lifestyle)." Me and Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy aren't "jersey guys." We wear at the most a Kings hat to each of our games. And you know what? We don't feel like any less of a passionate Kings fan. I have a handful of Kings t-shirts and sweatshirts and they are mainly worn for lounging around the house. Not for my Kings-specific lifestyle of hitting da clubs up at night.

Go Kings Go!

I don't want to completely bad mouth Jesse James and his ridiculous line of clothing. After all, he's a pretty dedicated Kings fan himself and having a celebrity with as big a following as he has (however misguided) be this involved with Kings marketing can only be a positive for the franchise. But maybe the Kings could have considered a few alternative designers that might appeal to a different type of Kings fan. Like the very popular Isaac Mizrahi?

Or maybe even uber-housewares designer Jonathan Adler?

Now this is a Kings lifestyle that this hockey-loving design-snob can get behind!

And everyone knows that First Ladies are always a source of inspiration in terms of fashion for the American public.

Yes we can. Make the playoffs.

I don't mean to say that all of Jesse James' new line is crap. One is actually kind of cool.

Ok, I'll admit it. I'd buy this.

But the rest of the clothes? Well look for yourself.

What the hell does "Little Stick, Big Goal" even mean?
It's like a reject from the Big Johnson pile.

Yes, that does say "Pucker Up"
Even James O'Brien, the NHL's Official Pun Commissioner would hate this.

So even though the Kings got rid of their old black and white jerseys some 10 years ago, we are once again back to where we once were as franchise... looking like a bunch of Raider fans. But maybe this new line of Kings-specific lifestyle clothing is a new chapter in the long history of failure by the Los Angeles Kings. Maybe, just maybe the new Kings lifestyle... is one of a winner?

East meets West

2009-11-19T10:06:00.000-08:00

There has been a lot of talk on the internets recently about how the Los Angeles Kings organization is turning into the "Philadelphia Flyers West"... as Coach Murray, GM Dean Lombardi and Assistant GM Ron Hextall all have ties with the Flyers. Recent acquisitions such as Justin Williams, Randy Jones and Michal Handzus were all Flyers at one point in their careers, even playing under Coach Murray. And after watching last nights game against the Flyers... I have absolutely no problem with the Kings emulating that franchise.

The definition of a conflict of interest.

Sure the Kings lost. But they played well enough. In the words of Coach Murray... the Flyers played a great road game. The ice was pretty crappy at tonights game... I haven't noticed it to be this bad in previous games at Staples this season but the puck was bouncing all around out there. I should have known the game wouldn't end up as a Kings victory when the National Anthem singer didn't show up. So instead... they went old school.

Organ rock!

Usually when Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I go to games... our seats are better than any of our friends who happen to be at the game.

The view from The Royal Half Headquarters.

So imagine our surprise for this game when we had 3 friends in attendance... and they all had better seats than us. So what do you do when you have friends at the game who have better seats than you do? Well, you go join them in Jerry Buss' private box, that's what!

So this is what it feels like to be rich.

It was a fun field trip to go up to the private level for the 3rd period... but I couldn't help wondering what life was like back in the 200 section. A private box is fun if you have a large group of people all celebrating a birthday or you are trying to woo a potential client or Hollywood star... but I'll take the seat with my brethren among the hard working Half and Full Season Ticket Holders any day.

Justin Williams really stepped it up in the first 2 periods in an effort to make up for the loss of Ryan Smyth. But the fact of the matter is, I wasn't too impressed with the chemistry with Alexander Frolov on that line. Teddy Purcell is playing his way off this roster and there should be a call up from Manchester before Saturdays game against the Calgary Flames. Who will it be? Only Dean Lombardi knows.

Check out the awesome Flyers Goal Scored By and Broad Street Hockey for their view from what I hope will one day be called Los Angeles Kings East.

Our Kingdom for a Left Winger

2009-11-18T11:45:00.000-08:00

Well, shit. The single reason for the Los Angeles Kings playing so well 22 games into this season is now out for a month. Oh you are right... Ryan Smyth wasn't the only reason that the Kings are playing so well... more like he's the reason Anze Kopitar is the NHL's leading scorer. I just don't know how to react to news like this.

No... not quite it.

Yeah... that's more like how I'm feeling right now.

So what does this mean for the Kings? Well, it means one Kings fan is ecstatic. But for the rest of us Kings fans, Smyth being out is not so good. It means one of the Kings veteran leaders (33 year old veteran leader!) is out for a crucial month. With the NHL schedule truncated this year because of the February Olympics, getting as many points as possible in November and December is more important than usual. In terms of the 1st line, when Justin Williams was out for 5 games, Wayne Simmonds stepped in and played excellent. But to replace Smyth is a whole other issue. You just can't jump onto a line and do the little things that Smyth does. So who does Coach Murray look to in order to fill the the giant wingspan of Ryan Alexander Gordon Smyth?

Ugh, really? This guy?

That's right. Alexander Frolov has been named as Smyth's replacement on the 1st line. 2 years ago, I would have been excited about this move. But this season... well I think this IM discussion between Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and myself says it all...

I was once the biggest Frolov fan. In his rookie season, I remember watching him and saying "man, that guy can really hold onto the puck." But 6 seasons later... Frolov is still holding onto the puck and is probably the least impactful 30 goal scorer around. And yes, I know that Coach Murray has re-designed the type of player that Frolov is and made him into a great defensive forward... but I'm just tired of being frustrated by him. Frolov's contract is up at the end of this season and I can't imagine any scenario where Dean Lombardi doesn't trade him for an impact player for the playoffs or even a ton of draft picks, which I'd be fine with. So once Frolov fails on the 1st line tonight, who will take his place?

It's Scott Parse... there is no way you should have known this was him.

Even though Scott Parse is a right winger, I'd like to see what he can do with Kopitar and Williams. But then you run the risk of splitting up the hunched over, little guy line of Jarret Stoll, Dustin Brown and Parse. Man, being an NHL head coach is hard!

Teddy Purcell plays like he signs autographs... poorly.

Yeah, I don't think Edward "Teddy" Purcell is the answer either. Do you give another chance to this guy?

Moller in da house.

Short of making some trade, Coach Murray and Dean Lombardi will probably call up someone from Manchester when Frolov and Kopitar don't click and Purcell can't hang with Handzus and Simmonds. Maybe that player should be Oscar Moller? Wow, this team really has very little depth at the left wing. There was one left winger in the Kings system last year...what was his name again? Gosh, I wonder whatever happened to that guy.

What is it about the Islanders and former Kings prospects?

Ok fine, I have the answer. I'll play with Kopitar and Williams! I usually play center but I can slide over. I'll play for free Half Season Seats next season and lunch with Heidi Androl. Put me in, Coach Murray!

What up Valley Flames, circa '89!

This is game 23 for the Los Angeles Kings tonight against the Philadelphia Flyers. Every game is huge, but here is another great chance for the Kings to make a statement to the rest of the NHL about how serious this team is. Sure you can squeak by victories from the Carolina's, Tampa Bay's and Florida's of this league... but if you want to go deep in the playoffs... you gotta beat the best teams.

If you want quarter pole analysis of the Kings... then you are in the wrong place. Look here instead. But... after passing the 1/4 point of the NHL season... yeah, I'd say I've been pretty happy with the team so far. I might even be besides myself with how they've played. Smyth being out for at least a month will be the first real challenge this team has faced this season. It could be worse... have you seen Pittsburgh's defense lately? Or it could be Anaheim where former King Kyle Calder is now playing on their first line. (Wait.. what?!?)

Speaking of Kyle Calder's new team... it's not so much about how well the Kings have played during their first 20 games... but rather about how poorly the Ducks have. Check out this incredibly informative tweet from Battle of California's Earl Sleek:

Ahh... Ducks fans... this is how it's felt for 8 years. Get used to it.

Hounding the Competition

2009-11-17T00:06:00.000-08:00

Ugly, ugly, ugly. Ugly jerseys, ugly camera angles and what an ugly game between the Los Angeles Kings and the Florida Panthers tonight. Imagine what the Kings could have done had they actually been interested in playing in this game. We haven't said it all that much at The Royal Half this season... but goaltender Jon Quick kept the lackluster Kings in this game. Man... did I mention those ugly uniforms?

Who thought this looked good?

Kings 4, Panthers of Florida 3

How about that Scott Parse, huh? That little guy banged his way all over the ice, especially in the first period. I really noticed him out there tonight and that wasn't just because he made his first NHL in-between periods interview.

No, I noticed Parse because of his crazy Vampire hockey teeth.

I've decided that Scott Parse, Dustin Brown and Jarret Stoll aren't really a hockey line but rather they are all the same hunched over, hyperactive skating, little person. Either that or Craig Conroy is back on the Kings.

This is pretty much what each of those 3 guys look like on the ice.

Tonight, the worst move by the Kings wasn't even on the ice... it was on Twitter... as the Kings PR department tried to force on us fans a horrible, just horrible nickname for Kings Insider™ Rich Hammond....

Yeah, I can already see the graphic being created for the intermission chat between Jim Fox and Rich Hammond. It will look like this... but with more "Foxy and the Hound."

Don't think Fox Sports West is better than this.
They've done it before.

Oh, what's that? Fox Sports West already has the graphic ready for this segment? Well let's roll that in...

Yeah, this is pretty much what happens on those cross-country plane trips.
I like to pretend that the owl is Drew Doughty.

Did I mention how ugly the Florida Panthers uniforms are?

Even this particular screengrab does not distract me from those ugly uniforms.

I mean... does anything look good in those goofy colors?

Oh... I see what you did there.

Jon Quick is the reason the Kings walked away from this game with 2 points. Even when the Kings were leading (you totally had a short-handed 3rd period goal from Randy Jones in your office pool, didn't you?) they looked like they could care less about this game. Quick's play was very steady... including a couple great saves in the 3rd when he stood up tall like everyone has been asking him to. When the Kings were trying so hard to give this game away (I'm looking at you Jack Johnson) Jon Quick kept his cool and pulled out a victory for this team.

The reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

I pretty much knew when Ryan Smyth took that awkward hip check that he was going to be out for the game. It's strange... when Justin Williams was out a week or two ago, I didn't notice as much... maybe because Wayne Simmonds did so well in his absence. But with Ryan Smyth out tonight... I felt like Alexander Frolov looked out of place on the 1st line and Brad Richardson looked downright scary on the 3rd line. Paging Teddy Purcell! What are you doing on Wednesday? Probably playing NHL hockey, that's what!

Weekend Warriors

2009-11-16T07:26:00.000-08:00

Well, that's not exactly how I would have liked to seen these 2 weekend games play out... but in the end, the Kings have a chance to end this 5 game roadtrip 3-2. Considering the way the Kings played Friday night against the Atlanta Thrashers... finishing this road trip above .500 would be enough to make any Kings fans scream.

Eh... after the 2nd period you may not be as excited to see this game.

Atlanta Thrashers 7, Los Angeles Kings 0

Even after the 2nd period... when it was "only" 4-0 Thrashers... two thoughts came to mind... one was "even though they are down 4-0 how is it possible that the Kings are kinda dominating this game?" and secondly... "what the hell is this goalies name?"

Seems like a long way to go just for "Andre."

The Kings lost this game. Badly. But it's not often that you see a team lose 7-0 and outshoot the opposing team 38-21. It's enough to make Kings fans want to give the team a stink-eye.

I'm coming for you Jack Johnson.

The Kings just weren't prepared for this game. Maybe they were frightened by playing more hockey in the deep south... you see things at these games that you just don't see elsewhere in the league.

Or maybe they were just spooked by this leftover Halloween decoration.

And with another poor game played by Jon Quick... it gets more and more awkward in the Kings locker room.

"That's cool guys, I'll just wait here till you are all changed."

Is it just me or did Rich Hammond get some serious "hockey correspondent" training since the last time he appeared on the air with Jim Fox? Because Hammond was rocking it during this segment. I totally feel that within 3 years Rich Hammond will be known as "Hammy" and is going to be on ESPN, VS or whatever major cable operator is broadcasting the NHL. (Animal Planet) As Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy pointed out... Hammond does much better with Fox than he did with Bob Miller. But that's only because Jim Fox knows what a "blog" is.

Good Evening, I'm Rich Hammond and this is the latest in your Kopitar news.

So you get smashed 7-0 to a team you probably should have been able to beat. Your goalie was pulled after 3 goals, has looked shaky the last few games and also had a talking to by the coach and assistant GM. In pro sports you are always given the luxury of having the next game to redeem yourself. Or to at least save face.

Kings 2, NHL Referee's 1

The controversy in question.

I've been watching the NHL a long time... and I don't know if I've ever seen something like that. As a Kings fan... I'll take the extra point earned with a shootout victory... but if I'm a Tampa Bay Lightning fan... I'm pissed!

OMG! I can't believe they waved that goal off!
Here comes the ref...don't look, don't look, don't look!
Dude, there is no way I'll keep a straight face on the next shift!

The best part of this play (besides the fact that it took a victory away from the team that deserved it) was Jon Quick's.... um... quick response to the fact that he knew it wasn't a goal. From LAKings Insider...

(on the goalie interference in overtime…)
QUICK: “There was a play in the first that was pretty similar. The ref told me that if that went in, it wouldn’t have been a goal. It was worth a shot to give him my piece of mind there in overtime. It ended up working out.”

So the... um... quick thinking of Jon Quick earned an extra point for the Kings. And lets not just praise Quick's brain in this game... he played quite well against a much improved Lightning team. That Steve Stamkos sure looks like the real deal to me. In fact, the only thing the Kings didn't seem prepared for was the Lightning sideline reporter.

Whit Watson! With all your hockey news and notes!
(Said in ole timey fashioned reporters voice)

With his creepy, piercing blue eyes staring at me the whole game... this was the first time in a long while where I said "why couldn't they just have a cute female sideline reporter do this interview instead of grown up Chucky?" Whit Watson seems to be quite the regional celebrity and even has his own blog!

I'm glad the artists name is on this...
because I want to let him know it looks nothing like Whit.

Besides the distraction of Whit Watson... I was really pleased with the overall broadcast from Fox Sports Florida. The quality of the HD was some of the best I've seen from a road game and they did a great job with informative graphics that will make Kings fans happy.

I'm totally not getting tired of this.

In fact, the only strange thing about the Lightning broadcast on Fox Sports Florida was the stunt casting they did by bringing in Ray Liotta to coach their special teams.

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be an assistant coach.

Oh man! An Adam Oates spotting! I love that players I watched growing up are now assistant coaches on teams like Tampa Bay. It's almost as cool as when the favorite players on your team act out scenes from your favorite movies! Is it just me or is Michal Handzus doing his best Harrison Ford here?

Hanz Solo.

So the Kings are barely scraping their way out of the Southeast Division (thank god we don't have to face the Capitals) and they end their 5 game journey to the south tonight in Sunrise, Florida against the Florida Panthers. The Panthers are the 3rd worst team in the East. I hardly knew anyone on the Florida roster when they still had Jay Bouwmeester... let alone now. Pretty much the only name I know on their roster is the former King, Steve Reinprecht. And that's what scares me about this game tonight. Enough to make me scream.

As always, check out the insightful LitterBoxCats for all things Panther related. (at least to Ice Hockey and Panthers.)

Front Page Power

2009-11-13T12:48:00.000-08:00

Back when the Los Angeles Kings were terrible (as recent as last season)... the Kings marketing department wouldn't so much sell the Kings team but rather the particular team they happened to be playing that night. Seen the front page of the Atlanta Thrashers website lately?

I still can't get over seeing "NHL Scoring Leader" and "Kopitar" in the same sentence.

It's true... the Kings have turned into a road draw. I never thought I'd see the day. But lest you think that Kovalchuk vs Kopitar is the only battle going on tonight in the great state of Atlanta. No... it's also the battle of the under 20, studly defensemen as 19-Year-Old Drew Doughty takes on 19-Year-Old Zach Bogosian. That particular storyline only made the front page of NHL.com.

'When Kids Collide' sounds like a Dateline NBC special.

It's the 20th game of the season for the Kings. 1/4 of the season gone. And the Kings are the 6th best team in the NHL.

As always, check out the incomparable HildyMac at Wazzupwitchu for all your Thrashers (and Blues!) needs.

Keeping Up with The Joneses

2009-11-12T08:26:00.001-08:00

So I sit down on the couch, ready to watch exciting Los Angeles Kings action for the first time in 2 games... and when I turn on the tv... (oh just show the screengrab already, this joke is getting so old!)

Note that it is at :00 of the entire broadcast.

Sure it was annoying at first... but then Fox Sports West HD found suitable replacement programming.

This better be in HD.

Eventually, the game came back on and this time... the Kings didn't disappoint. They played an even, consistent game and kept their composure when the Hurricanes came storming back. (Ha, get it?) So, when it comes to victories over opponents with 12 or more losses in a row, the Kings are looking pretty good right now!

Kings 5, Hurricanes 2

"Naw, that's cool guys. I'll just stay over here.
I mean, it's not like I was in net when we had points in 8 straight games or anything."

Well if there was one thing to learn from this game it's that Sean O'Donnell or Davis Drewiske might be on their ways to becoming a healthy scratch. Randy Jones exploded into the Kings lineup with an assist and a game winning goal. And make no mistake, that goal he scored was not an easy one. Jones was at a really tough angle to be able to put that puck in. It just shows what a total genius Dean Lombardi is.

"You know Drew, the girls in the NHL are so much better than the ones in the AHL."
"What's the AHL?"

And Randy Jones has taken an award away from Ryan Smyth... which award you ask? Why it's the "Kings Player that Most Looks Like a Muppet" Award.

Another Dean Lombardi waiver wire steal.

Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I were talking last week about why NHL broadcasters don't just show the overhead goalie shot first when replaying a goal. Ok, maybe one close up of the goal and then the overhead angle. But enough with going to a replay using the angle that is the farthest away from the goal already! I still have no idea how Jarret Stoll scored that goal.

Membership has its privileges.

My favorite part of the night was Hockey Hall of Famer Bob Miller busting out his Members Only Hall of Fame Jacket during the broadcast... and totally playing it cool by not mentioning it. I like to imagine Bob in his hotel room, once a year, putting on his Hockey Hall of Fame Blazer and then staring into the mirror, Silence of the Lambs style.

He puts the biscuit in the basket.

Game by game, 19-Year-Old Drew Doughty just gets better and better with his one timers from the point. Alexander Frolov must have been watching the segment where Rich Hammond talked about how people on the internet are unhappy with Frolov's game.. cause he sure woke up in the 3rd period. And sure, Ersberg got the win, but he was hardly tested by this weak Carolina team. The next game Jon Quick starts will be his 65th career... basically a full season for a #1 NHL goalie.

64 Games - 32W 25L 4OTL SV%.908 GAA 2.59

32-25-4 isn't bad for a first season. Everyone was up in arms about Columbus Blue Jackets rookie goalie Steve Mason last season and he went 33-20-7 in 61 games. On a playoff team. It's important that Quick gets his rest throughout the season and this game was the perfect one for him to sit out. And if Ersberg decides that he has forgotten how to play in the NHL, the Kings can always call up Jon Bernier from Manchester. I wouldn't mind seeing a bit of a competition between Quick and Bernier for the 1 and 1A goal spots. It's good to have this kind of a goalie problem... instead of having goalie problems like these:

Is there anything better than the white mask
during a goalies first game with a new team?

And this is why hockey in the deep south is awesome:

Oh man, greatest episode of Mad Men ever!

And also because of signs like this one:

Today, I'm eleven

on 11-11
I'd be in Heaven
with a Canes win

Man, that is one involved sign. And the chance to use this particular rhyming scheme only comes once a lifetime.

The Kings are off until Friday when they take on the Atlanta Thrashers as the Kings tear through the 2nd tier of the Southeast Conference on this road trip (ie... every team in the Southeast Conference except Washington.)

P O'd

2009-11-11T12:14:00.000-08:00

Well it's always an honor when The Royal Half gets a little action in the hockey blog-o-sphere. But imagine our surprise when a glowing review of this site came in from the immortal Pensblog!

...some LA Kings blog no one will ever read.
-The Pensblog 9/9/09

One particular post from last week has inspired a little friendly ribbing between hockey blog gods PuckDaddy and Pensblog. PuckDaddy was kind enough to link to my post about the Sydney Crosby urinal cards featured during the November 5th game. And Pensblog, understandably so, is tired of seeing its favorite player get peed on in opposing NHL rinks. So Pensblog retaliated the best way he knew how... by pissing on Puck Daddy.

Keep an eye out at Pensblog as they will collect user submitted photoshops of NHL Superstar Sydney Crosby peeing on things. I love the internet.

So remember all that talk about Coach Murray "shaking" things up for tonights game against the hapless Carolina Hurricanes? So the big changes? Old man Sean O'Donnell gets a night off and spare defensemen Randy Jones and Peter Harrold get the call. And enforcer Raitis Ivanans sits because the Hurricanes can't afford to lose anymore players. Oh and the Kings backup goalie starts for the 2nd time all season. Earth shattering!

Hey guys! Did you hear! I'm starting tonight! I'M STARTING!
You're not gonna have Erik Ersberg to kick around anymore!

Erik Ersberg reminds me of Cricket from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

This guy has won as many games this season as Ersberg.

So let's see what the ever expanding Dean Lombardi Philadelphia pipeline will bring with Randy Jones in the lineup tonight. And let's see how Ersberg responds to being called out pretty much all season by Coach Murray for his inefficient play. It's LA Kings hockey and this time... it's televised!

For the hockey perspective from the Deep South be sure to check out Red and Black Hockey and CanesCountry.

This Smells Rank

2009-11-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

The NHL's leading scorer. Front page articles on NHL.com. A victory over last season's NHL champion. A nationally televised game against the Chicago Blackhawks. Wow... the Los Angeles Kings really have been making quite an impression on the mainstream media, huh?

Whoops.

See it here for yourself at Fox Sports. It turns out that Power Rankings author Robert Picarello somehow missed the coverage of the Ryan Smyth trade... 4 months ago. Here is a full screen shot since this will totally be changed in a few minutes.

Does this mean the Av's and Kings are sharing Smyth's salary this season?

If so, great move Dean Lombardi.

So with all the hoopla that has surrounded the Kings during this still young NHL season... it remains hoopla that doesn't leave the greater Los Angeles area. The rest of the hockey world still doesn't know how to pronounce Anze Kopitar... they still don't know what a great defensive forward Wayne Simmonds has turned into... and apparently they don't know that Ryan Smyth was traded from the Colorado Avalanche to the Los Angeles Kings over the summer. And how would they? It was barely covered in the news.

Yup, pretty sure that is Kings' purple.

And with the Los Angeles Kings playing like absolute shite the last 2 games... can you blame Kings' fans for not wanting the rest of the NHL to notice?

Kings 1, The Better Up and Coming Team 4

#3 in a series of... "Opposing team happy... Kings sad."

and... #4.

Thankfully the game against the Chicago Blackhawks last night was only broadcast on Versus... this way most of America wasn't able to see how shitty the Kings played in that 3rd period. It was eerily similar to the way the team played last season. Keeping up with a better overall opponent over 2 periods... only to implode during the final 20 minutes. With the first game of a 5 game road trip a loss, Coach Murray has got to figure out a way to get the Kings back on track. Hopefully the Wednesday game against the winless in 12 games Carolina Hurricanes will be just the fix. This Carolina team has been in a spiral all season and they just lost their goaltender to the dreaded "lower body skate blade" injury. This should be an easy game against some nameless goalie that the Kings will just murder... right?

Ugh, really? Manny Legace? Wasn't Curtis Joseph available?

Legace is by no means an NHL elite goaltender anymore... but for some reason the Kings have always seemed to struggle against him the last few seasons. This would be a great opportunity for the Hurricanes to rally around their new goaltender and end their awful losing streak. Thankfully, the Kings will be back on their rightful home, Fox Sports West HD. And I'll finally be able to watch a Kings game at home for the first time in 2 games. I just hope it's not another loss to a team they should beat.

Blacked Out!

2009-11-09T13:24:00.000-08:00

So I was unable to watch the Los Angeles Kings lose on Saturday to the Nashville Predators. We are living in the times of NHL Center Ice Packages and Illegal Internet Streaming sites when it comes to watching hockey games... but if neither team is broadcasting the game to their home fans... then nobody gets to see it. Nobody. And from what I read about the game... maybe it was better that no one was able to see it.

Kings 1, Nashville Predators 3

Have you ever seen a picture that so captures a Kings loss? Oh... you mean this next one?

Yeah, I think that captures "game we should have won" much better.

So, whatever. The Kings lost to the Predators on Saturday, a team they should have beat. Everyone knows that seasons are not made with one individual win or loss. (Unless it's a win where you beat the defending Stanley Cup Champion... then your season is totally made in that one win!) No, seasons are made by how you respond to those wins and losses. So tonight, against the Chicago Blackhawks the Kings have a great opportunity to show off how they can respond to a crappy loss... and they get to do it on a national platform on Versus! I can't wait to watch this game tonight!

That's right! I have DirecTV and this season the exclusive home of NHL Hockey in the US, Versus, has made it even more difficult to watch your favorite sport on television! So I will have to find some illegal way to watch this game tonight.

At least I get the NHL Network and I'll be able to watch the Hockey Hall of Fame induct a bunch of players who seemed old when I was a kid.... include LA's own President of Business Operations, Luc Robitaille. Is he going into the Hall of Fame under the executives category? The guy has done a great job in just 2 years!

There Are New Kings in Town

2009-11-05T23:13:00.000-08:00

Statement... made. Sure Evgeni Malkin was out injured and Marc-Andre Fleury was doing his best Marty Turco impression. But tonight, the Los Angeles Kings out hustled, out played and due to a 4-goal 3rd period... out scored the defending NHL Stanley Cup Champion Pittsburgh Penguins. NHL on the Fly introduced the highlights of tonights game by saying "The NHL's best face off as Crosby's Penguins take on Kopitar's Kings." During the Kings Talk post-game show, radio play by play announcer Nick Nickson read off the top 3 teams in the NHL... then laughed out loud as he announced the 4th place overall Kings. With a culture of losing that goes back nearly 40 years... what is a loyal Kings fan to do with these 2009-2010 Los Angeles Kings? Enjoy the fucking ride... that's what!

Kings 5, Stanley Cup Champions 2

Kop-i-tar? No, never heard of him, why?

The Kings owned this game from the first 27 seconds until the end. But with the Kings down 2-1 at the start of the 3rd period... it felt like a game from the Kings of last season... a Kings team that would out-shoot opponents by 15 shots and dominate the game... but finish without a victory. Well this years' Kings showed what is different from last season with their 4 goal explosion in the 3rd period. They finished off the Penguins... and they finished them off strong. The Staples Center was buzzing tonight... a sold out crowd and the absolute feeling that we were watching 2 of the best teams in the NHL playing in front of us.

I'm coming for you, Crosby.

This team is firing on all cylinders right now. And because of that... I really find myself at a loss for words. You see... my whole shtick on this blog is that the Kings suck. The whole point is that me and Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy are the lovable losers who sit in the back row of 217 and make fun of how bad the Kings are.

An artists' rendering of ChrisKontos and Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy.

We are used to ending the game shaking our heads at each other... saying "lame" or "ugh... the worst." We aren't used to having a completely dominate, winning team to root for each night. I mean at tonights game we just noticed that there are red goal lights all around the perimeter of the arena, just above the wrap-around scoreboard. Have those been there all season? Who knows! We've been too busy paying attention to the awesome team on the ice to notice. I mean, really... what are 2 guys who have had Half Season Tickets since the last time the Kings made the playoffs supposed to do when this is on the front page of NHL.com???

Get it? Dethroned. Because they are Kings.

I guess we just sit back and watch. And we hope that in 4 weeks, when it's December, that this team is still playing nearly as well as it has in the last 8 games. Remember when Kings fans were freaking out about Jon Quick's rough start? Well, he now has a 2.08 goals-against average and .913 save percentage over the last 8 games, the same 8 games that the Kings are 6-0-2 in. Remember when people questioned (not me, just RudyKelly) what gas Ryan Smyth had left in his tank... or if Justin Williams was really worth giving up Patrick O'Sullivan for? Well, The Greatest Line Ever of Kopitar, Smyth and Williams now has 48 points in 11 games. My head is going to explode.

Can you believe how fucking good we are?
I know, we totally rock!
Hey guys, it's me Erik! Think I'll ever play again?

Pittsburgh fans are great. They really are. I hate when the Kings play Eastern Conference teams because it's always some jerk off from Boston or New York sitting next to you. But when Pittsburgh comes to town... it attracts hard-working, knowledgeable fans to the Staples Center. And they always have awesome jerseys... like this lady sitting next to us that drove 8 hours to the game tonight.

Or this guy... who was busy star-gazing over the Keamy, the dude who killed Ben's daughter on Lost. But at least he was star-gazing while rocking an awesome Barrasso jersey.

Tonight, we were joined by a friend of mine that loves the Penguins. (The last time this friend and I had watched a hockey game together it was in the strangest of places.) And he didn't rub it in our face after every Pens goal... he didn't make a big deal when the Kings took over... he just enjoyed watching two great hockey teams play. As we exited the Staples Center he said to us... "it's not like the Penguins aren't going to make the playoffs." And as we stood on a street corner with Pens fans, decked out in Penguin wear, a car drove by and said "Screw Pittsburgh!" When I repeated what the car had screamed out... one of the Pens fans looked at me and said "I couldn't hear him because our Stanley Cup rings are clogging my ears." I smiled at the dude and had the horrible pangs of jealousy fill my body. Goddamn I hope I can use that line one day.

WHY KINGS FANS RULE:
Because someone did this tonight in the urinals near the Team LA Store.

You rule, Los Angeles Kings fans... you rule.

The Real Hockey Fans of New Jersey

2009-11-03T10:26:00.000-08:00

I've been on assignment in the beautiful state of New Jersey for the past 2 weeks. I thought I'd be able to weblog about the Los Angeles Kings more during this time, but unfortunately my real life got in the way of my fanaticism of hockey. But being on the east coast is a great experience for a hockey fan. You can be watching the World Series with co-workers and say "yeah, but I'm more of a hockey fan than anything else" and people don't look at you as strangely as they do on the west coast. And then one day you are walking back to your corporate apartment and you see this.

Biggest Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins Fan Ever!

So what has really changed since I left on October 21st? Not much... the Kings haven't lost a game in regulation... going 4-0-2. Justin Williams was out for a few games and no one blinked... especially Wayne Simmonds. It turns out that Scott Parse just needed 5 years to figure out how to play in the NHL. Jason LaBarbera still sucks. And this is a bad-ass photo:

Just another day at the office.

So I return tomorrow just in time to see the Penguins come and visit Staples Center on Thursday. Sure it's fun to beat up on the Columbus's, the Dallas's and the Phoenixeses (?) of the league... but here is a great chance for the Kings to make a statement against one of the leagues best. And by "leagues best" I mean the team that is 2 points ahead of the Kings.

Top 5 teams on the board!

Jersey has been a kind mistress to me... I had hoped to make it to some sort of a combination of a Devils, Rangers or Islanders game... but I'll have to wait till next time. I'm ready to get back home and not have wait up until 10:30pm to watch the Los Angeles Kings.

Secret of their Successes

2009-10-25T20:52:00.000-07:00

I submit to you, the valued reader of The Royal Half, the opening paragraph to the NHL.com game recap of tonight's game against the Columbus Blue Jackets.

Okay... there is a lot going on in those 2 paragraphs. Anze Kopitar is tearing this league up... the Kings are leading the Pacific Division... the Blue Jackets are almost at the top of the Central?!? Is this some sort of "alternate" NHL universe? One that exists just to terrorize Los Angeles Kings fans? Nope... this is the real NHL.

SNAKE EYES!

It's simple really. Anze Kopitar waited until his 6.8 million dollar a year contract kicked in before he really started to play hard. And with the way that Anze has played over the first 12 games of the season... Dean Lombardi's 7 year contract with Kopitar might end up being a bargain. But the biggest addition to Kopitar's game this season?

This muppet looking guy. That's who!

Ryan Smyth has done everything that Kings thought he was going to do and more. He has been a strong veteran leader. (He's 33 by the way.. no one refers to me as a "veteran leader" at my office) He's given the Kings a great chance to market the game of hockey to Canadians in Los Angeles. Oh... and he's become the goal-scoring winger that Anze Kopitar has always wanted at his side.

Not too shabby #8!

Even though OG Blogger RudyKelly wasn't thrilled with the arrival of Ryan Smyth in Los Angeles... he has to appreciate the awesomeness of Ryan Smyth by now. Right?!? And hey... remember when everyone was worried that Dustin Brown wasn't scoring as much as he was expected to?

Yeah, I'd be a happy Kings fan if Dustin Brown scored at a point per game pace.

And when will people finally shut up about Anze Kopitar and start paying attention to the real star on the Kings... 19 Year-Old Drew Doughty.

Who the hell is Michael Del Zotto?

That's right Kings fans, Drew Doughty is the 2nd highest scoring defenseman in the NHL. Drew had 27 points in 81 games last year. In 12 games this year... he has 11 points.

Hey Ladies... you think Jon Quick and Davis Drewiske are rich?
Wait till my contract year comes up.

The Kings are playing so well this young season that Fox Sports West HD decided to get a fancy new set for the post-game wrap up show Kings Live.

Worst episode of Good Morning America ever!

I applaud Fox Sports West HD's idea to move the Kings Live set outside into LA Live. But maybe you could have come up with something a little more interesting than 2 chairs and flat screen. Kings President of Business Operations (and all-time leading goal scorer) Luc Robitaille didn't seem to mind.

Kopitar and Smyth remind me of myself and Jim Fox.

I wonder if this set is here to stay. I mean... what could possibly go wrong with conducting live television interviews out among the public streets after a sporting event?

So tonight, stopping by after the game to be the first Kings Live guest with an audience was ~~former Los Angeles Kings 1st line winger~~, Justin Williams. (ED. NOTE: Apparently, Justin Williams is still a member of the Los Angeles Kings)

Yeah... that shouldn't be distracting at all!

I wonder how long Fox Sports West HD will let this go on for. As for Justin Williams... well Wayne Simmonds sure has done a great job on the first line in his absence. Which really means that Anze Kopitar and Ryan Smyth are the ones really doing all the work.

Okay, so I'm Gretzky and you are Kurri.
No! I'm Gretzky and YOU are Kurri.
Fine, I'm Henrik Sedin and you are Daniel.
No way! I'm Daniel. YOU are Henrik.

Justin Williams' absence from the Kings lineup over the past 3 (soon to be 4) games has gone so unnoticed that Kings Live host Patrick O'Neal said thank you to Jason Williams at the end of the interview. But, when the show came back from break... he did apoligize. Classy move, Patrick.

So how did the Kings do this weekend?

KING... SMASH!!!

Kings 5, Phoenix 3
Kings 6, BJs 2

What do these two games tell the rest of the NHL? "Don't beat us... cause then we'll beat you!"

This is shaping up to be a pretty decent division... well except for one team. Kings are in San Jose on Wednesday. Another chance to make a statement against a big opponent.

ANZ-MAZING!!!

2009-10-24T05:54:00.000-07:00

Holy Crap! Can you believe this scary looking dude is tearing up the NHL???

A little early for the Halloween costume huh Franken-Anze?
Oh.... I see... this is awkward.

Well, when you score goals like these... who cares how weird looking you are!

This is the very definition of pwning.

And with a hot NHL player on their roster, the Kings marketing department never misses a beat. Anyone remember "Think Quick and Win Big!"?

That's pretty ballsy to guarantee that Kopitar will get a hat trick
every game in October and November.

But I can understand how easily it is to get excited about how well Kopitar has been playing this young season. When's the last time you saw a Kings player hanging out with these dudes?

Tonight is another big test for the Los Angeles Kings. Really? Really? They are playing the first place (gulp?!?) Phoenix Coyotes in Phoenix. (Sure, the Kings share first place with the Coyotes but the Coyotes have played 2 less games.) I love that Phoenix is following the script of the great motion picture Major League. Team's owner wants to sell and move the team... team responds by going on an amazing run to the playoffs. And then Shane Doan sleeps with Rene Russo.

I'm pretty sure Conrad Hilton played for that team.

It looks like perennial Kings prospect Scott Parse will get his chance to play in the NHL tonight. This guy has been a prospect for like 5 years and now he has to start his career off playing with Jarret Stoll and Teddy Purcell. Everything else should be the same for the Kings as last game against Dallas... except for 2 of the Kings are now making it rain.

Presenting Los Angeles' two newest millionaires.
The one on the left is 24, the one on the right is 23.
Look out, ladies of Redondo Beach.

Sadly, I won't be able to watch this game until Sunday. So don't come here expecting a re-cap. And with a home game tomorrow evening against the Bizarro Kings, The Columbus Blue Jackets... I might just have to pull a doubleheader Sunday evening. In the meantime, check out the great Five for Howling for all things Phoenix or The Cannon for all things Ohio.

On the Road with the Kings.. Kinda

2009-10-22T22:04:00.000-07:00

I'm currently on the East Coast on "official" business. So my Los Angeles Kings viewing over the next 2 weeks will be limited by the power of my Slingbox and my access to illegal internet streaming.

NHL Hockey... the way it was meant to be seen.

Kings 5, Stars 4

The only thing sadder than the Kings nearly losing this game by giving up 3 3rd period goals is the Kings broadcast crew trying to make some traction out of memorable Kings moments during the Staples Center's 10 year anniversary. Yeah, I got your LA Kings Staples Center memorable moments right here... how about the first 3 years of the Staples Center when the Kings made the playoffs... and then nothing else but the Lakers.

Don't be so impressed by Luc.
He's looking up at the South Park cartoon making fun of the Dallas Stars.

I watched the first 2 periods with no audio and the 3rd I watched in the comfort of my corporate apartment. So I'm not going to pretend that I really got a sense of how the Kings played in this game. But up until that 3rd period... they looked pretty good to me. Coach Murray was in mid-season form... changing his lines up all over the place. And you got to admit... how cool was it to see Wayne Simmonds on that first line.

This guy looks cool even during an in-between periods interview.

But the Kings rallied to win the game in overtime... and that is exactly what you want from a young team that has lost a 4-1 lead in the 3rd period. They didn't panic and in fact came out very strong at the start of the overtime. After all these years of constantly losing to the Stars... these last 2 games have felt so great. But in a few years... that James Neal is going to be skating circles around the Kings and the rest of the NHL. But that is far enough away.

Let's not forget that Anze Kopitar had a hat trick tonight and now is tied for the league lead in points with some dude named Alex Ovechkin. To say that this has been a breakout season for Anze Kopitar is an understatement. Now where would we have heard that before?

Saturday is a matchup against the Pacific Division leading Phoe-nix Coy-otes??? (Shared with the Kings and the Stars actually) These are not your Phoenix Coyotes of years past... but then again... are these the Kings of the past 10 years at the Staples Center?

Stay on Your Feet

2009-10-20T00:45:00.000-07:00

Tonight it seemed like the Los Angeles Kings took a look at some game footage from the past calender year and created a "greatest hits" mix of their best plays. Dominating performance by the top line. CHECK. Shut-down defensive hockey. CHECK. A flawless performance on the penalty kill. CHECK. Key saves and little-to-no rebounds given up by your young goalie. CHECK. An excellent victory against a divisional team that you despise with a new coach who has no business being in the NHL. CHECK.

Just remember, Kings fans... if it wasn't for Marc Crawford... there'd be no Drew Doughty.

Kings 4, Dallas Stars 1

Referring to Marc Crawford as the"former coach of the Kings" is like calling Mark Parrish "former Kings All-Star". It boils my blood each time I hear it. This man was hired to guide the rebuilding of a young team and instead drove it skate first into the ground. Crawford took this franchise through its most embarrassing goaltending blunder with Dan Cloutier... and that's saying a lot considering that the Kings have done everything with goalies from drafting Jamie Storr 7th overall to thinking that Roman Checkmanek would lead them to the playoffs. The fact that a NHL team is paying Crawford to coach again is a complete mystery to me.

Sean O'Donnell... just a dude that likes to do interviews with his shirt off.

Of course for Kings fans, the biggest news tonight was the absence of Dallas Stars forward Brad Richards. But sliding in under the radar was Coach Murray's benching of Kings star forward, Alexander Frolov. Unhappy with Frolov's play this season (and understandably so)... Murray held back nothing in his assessment of the soon to be Free Agent...

"It’s got to get better. You’ve got to buy into the team. That’s the only way. If we’re going to change our culture… That was a big issue last year, with me coming in here, in my meetings with players at the start of the year. We’re changing the culture, we’re changing style, philosophy, system, and we need total buy-in. That’s the only way you can become a good hockey club."

This is the difference between a team that is young and learning and a team that is expected to make the playoffs. Last season, Frolov doesn't get benched and the Kings try to make do with his sub-par play. This season, with the expectations high... Frolov gets a short leash. This sends a big message to him and to the rest of the team, as no one is free from the possibility of a healthy scratch. And you may have read in the last The Royal Half post that this team was due for a shakeup. Well, Kings... meet your shakeup. Frolov will be back in the lineup on Thursday against the Stars at home. Coach Murray is smarter than to keep him out of back to back games. But more than ever, in a season that was to be spent tracking the trade progress of this enigmatic star winger, the trading of Frolov might soon become a distinct possibility.

I'm trying to decide if I want to make one a friend and one part of the family.

Since I'm patting myself on the back for my last post... tonight with a few minutes left in the 2nd period, Dustin Brown came streaking down the left side, pulled a toe drag move and drew a penalty. It's refreshing to know that both the Kings management AND players are frequent readers of this blog.

I'm sorry for how I played the last 2 games.

The Kings have been running this all season... but tonight was the first game I really noticed it. They have a new sponsorship with Timberland shoes (because nothing screams hockey like Timberland). They sponsor the play of the game, naming it "Stay on Your Feet."

Timberland! For all your hockey needs!

Well, that's exactly what the Kings did tonight. They stayed on their feet, played their game and looked incredibly solid against a division rival. The Kings have ended their longest road trip of the season only 1 point out of first in the Pacific.

A Sick Loss

2009-10-17T18:41:00.000-07:00

I think I figured out what the difference is with Dustin Brown this year. Sure, he's scored 2 goals on this road trip... but he seems like a different player out there on the ice. Last season, when Dustin played the left wing, he could (and did!) pull a move like this each night.

Wow... life before HD video grabs.
And yes, that is injured defenseman Jack Johnson with the insightful analysis.

This season... on the right wing... he physically can't make that move. But it's not the move itself, it's the Dustin Brown who keeps his legs moving forward during this move and would usually draw a penalty. Where has that Dustin Brown gone? Oh and Jon Quick... in the midst of a 2 game losing streak on a long road trip... it may not be the best time to stop with your pre-game tradition.

Oh! So this is what an opening face-off looks like. Cool.

Kings 1, Blue Jackets 4

One aspect of the Los Angeles Kings game that I'm not digging right now is the placement of forward Justin Williams on point during the powerplay. I haven't really seen what the upside of this move is quite yet. I don't mind Jarett Stoll at the point on the other powerplay unit (mainly because he has a massive shot) but I'm feeling that after tonights game... the Kings powerplay units are in for a shakeup. In fact, I think this entire team is in for a shakeup from Coach Murray and his staff. With at least 3 sick players in the lineup tonight... it's pretty easy to see why the Kings played so pukey. HEY-OH!

Talk about a flu blug!
Hey Blue Jackets... you may want a mascot that doesn't scare children.

If this bad play continues (and you better believe me, this has been some bad play... one great period does not make a full game) one can only wonder how long before Kings fans start calling for the players heads. Uh-oh... we may be too late.

It was fun while it lasted, Jon Quick.

And I may not be an NHL caliber player... but I'm pretty sure that if I could clearly see the puck in front of me, I wouldn't be raising my arms in celebration of a goal like Antoine Vermette did tonight after Jon Quick made an amazing save.

The puck is clearly in front of him, right under his armpit.

And finally, I saw one of the greatest examples of fan dedication during the game tonight from the Blue Jacket home crowd.

It's not so much that he's really fat and dancing.
It's not so much that he painted a six pack of beer cans on his stomach.
It's not so much the dude taking a camera phone pic of him.
It's that he took the time to write tiny little "Bud Light's" on each of the cans.
That's dedication.

Special thanks to dedicated Royal Half reader, one-time blog contributor and fierce fan of all things cake, Brian, for this link:

Apparently, someone made the saddest LA Kings cake ever. They must have made it to celebrate this 3 game losing streak.

Scar 2: The Revenge

2009-10-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

Guess whooooo's baaaaaack?

Oscar Moller's back. Back again.

With a strain of the Swine Flu apparently running rampant amongst the Kings... Swede Fan Favorite Oscar Moller has been called up in preparation for a few Kings not being able to play in tonight's game against the Columbus Blue Jackets. One of the few training camp surprises in the sense that many Kings fans thought Moller would be able to secure a spot with the team... I was fine with him being sent down to Manchester to get some first and second line duty in. But tonight, if I'm Teddy Purcell... I make sure I find a way to be in that game so I don't lose my 2nd line spot to the "Scar."

Those precious little crowns get me every time.

I'm actually really excited to watch the Blue Jackets versus the Kings tonight as they seem to be mirror images of each other. Except for one huge factor... the Blue Jackets have one of the best young goalies in the league.

Steve Mason will eat your pucks and spit them out.

The Kings win tonight and they can finish this road trip at Dallas on Tuesday at the worst .500. But with 4 possible Kings Day-Quil'ing it up tonight... who knows what will go down?

Un-Developing

2009-10-15T23:44:00.000-07:00

How does a rational Kings fan react to these back to back losses? Do you panic that the 4-1 start was a compete fluke? Do you rejoice in the fact that the Kings have dominated most of the past 2 games but just have run into some great saves by experienced goalies? Do you worry that Alexander Frolov had a hard time staying on his feet this game and that during a crucial 3rd period possession near-rookie Teddy Purcell reached out with his stick instead of putting his body forward to keep a puck in the Detroit zone? Do you hope that Coach Murray does plenty of drills where the Kings practice keeping the puck in at the blueline? Do you give up on the young season and start checking out who the hot prospects are for the draft? Or do you realize the Kings are still tied for first in the Pacific and are 2-2 on their longest road trip of the year? Sometimes being a Kings fan just makes you want to scream.

It's nights like this that make Rudy Kelly proud of his Ryan Smyth hatred.

Kings 2, The Stupid Team that Always Beats Us 5

The demise of the Detroit Red Wings has been greatly exaggerated. Sure they may not be flying out of the gate like seasons past, but even without Pavel Datsyuk and Johan Franzen... the Red Wings still have Zetterberg, Holmstrom and Rafalski. Even the statisticians are grasping at straws to make the Detroit start seem worse than it really is.

Really? 2-3 is your worst start in 8 years?
There are seasons where I would have killed for the Kings to start off 2-3.

They may be a little slower... a little older (or maybe not without Chris Chelios in the lineup) but I'm sure the Detroit Red Wings will be a team to contend with this season in the Western Conference. Whether or not the Los Angeles Kings will be right there with them... well that remains to be seen. If this team cannot win an offensive zone faceoff or stop a team on the powerplay... keeping up the elite pace they have going so far will be a difficult chore. Oh, and Fox Sports West HD... I think you are starting to get a little too cutesy with the "See What Develops" campaign.

I hope Jim Fox was the hand model for this one.

OCD in HD

2009-10-15T11:57:00.000-07:00

Now I know why Anze Kopitar has looked so great during the start of this young season... he has horribly debilitating Obsessive Control Disorder!

Take a look at this video (no audio) from the Kings 6-3 win over the Minnesota Wild on October 8th.

Take a sniff of the smelling salt... water over left shoulder, water over right shoulder...
a little water on the toes... and then go out and get 4 points.

And then last night, during the Kings 4-2 loss to the New York Rangers.

I love how Justin Williams is looking around, just trying not to stare.

Pro Sports athletes having rituals is nothing new. Some have been truly been bizarre. While others are completely awesome to watch. Heck, even I for some stupid reason always put my right skate on first, then my right shinpad, then my left skate, left shinpad. (I think I do this because I read that Gretzky did it in his auto-biography, Gretzky: An Auto-Biography)

So the fact that Anze does this makes me like him even more. It's refreshing that a player with immense talent still feels like he needs a little luck at the start of each period. At least it's worked out better for Kopitar than it did for this guy.

At the end of the day... it's a little silly to be so obsessive over something. It would be like taking the time to upload videos onto youtube every time there is something wrong with an on-screen graphic during a game. I mean... how crazy does that sound?!? Almost as crazy as facing towards the net every time before the puck is dropped to start a game.

Los Angeles Kings vs Detroit Red Wings tonight. The Kings have a lot to prove in this game if they want the hype to continue. Pavel Datsyuk is out and this is a great opportunity to show the Red Wings they won't have the Kings to kick around anymore. Check out the great Abel to Yzerman or Winging it in Motown for some Detroit coverage of tonights game.

UPDATE:
Wow, so I guess that KingsVision had a video of Kopitar doing this up on their site. I had no idea that it was there. And I wasted my freakin' time creating and uploading these videos!!!

Ragtime Blues

2009-10-14T23:11:00.001-07:00

The Los Angeles Kings looked lifeless at times during their game versus the New York Rangers tonight. They over skated pucks, bobbled blue line passes and just kind of looked like they weren't having fun at all. But with that said... they actually could have won tonight. 36 shots against the best team in Eastern Conference ain't all that bad. The Kings played a better overall game than the New York Rangers... well better than everyone on the Rangers except for goalie Henrik Lundqvist.

Kings 2, Rangers 4

Ryan Smyth arrives in NYC the only way he knows how...
with total effin' style.

With all the excitement over the Kings recent play and the hype for the match-up between two of the hottest teams in the NHL... I was beyond excited to get home and watch this game in glorious HD... aw what?!?

This was what I watched from 15:00 until 10:00 in the first period.

Really, Fox Sports West HD? This is now the 2nd time in a week you've had to throw the old test pattern up on the HD box. And to think, I was just about to become your friend on Facebook. I mean, you are putting hints everywhere... even on the scoreboard.

OMG, Fox Sports West. You are so desperate.

Is there a more bad-ass looking coach in the NHL than John Tortorella?

If I were a network executive, I would do a remake of The Rockford Files
starring John Tortorella and I'd call it "Tort's Law."

Ok... I can think of one coach that is more bad-ass than Tortorella.

You don't want to see Coach Murray upset.

In between periods, Superstar GM Dean Lombardi paid a visit and chatted with Bob Miller. Lombardi has to be smiling big this days, as his team is the talk of the hockey world and no one remembers that he actually signed Ladislav Nagy a few years ago.

Listen... just cause a guy is a dominant force among GM's
doesn't mean he can't have a pen in his pocket.

And Canadian Thanksgiving might have been Monday, but it's never too late to celebrate all things Canadian.

Well it would be silly to have a Canadian night without inviting Captain Canada.

Hey Kings marketing. The Tragically Hip? I could think of a few better Canadian rock bands that would be a little more geared towards a hockey crowd. Whom do you ask?

Rush
The Band
Neil Young
The Guess Who
Bachman Turner Overdrive
Tom Cochrane
Jeff Healey
Steppenwolf
Nickelback
Anne Murray

Former First Round Draft pick Brian Boyle (selected just before Corey Perry) complained today that the he always felt like the Kings coaches were riding him hard... always looming over his shoulder. Well, you know why they did that Brian? Because you aren't a good hockey player. And they were just trying to get you to be a better one. Brian Boyle's play in tonights game is very typical of his frustrating young career. A goal scored by him only to be followed by a lazy hooking penalty and a power play goal against. Good riddance to Boyle and I'm glad he's the Rangers problem now.

Speaking of New York Rangers problems... it's good to know that Sean Avery is back in mid-season form.

Maybe he just dropped his tear sheets on the ice.

Oh man, Anna is gonna be pissed if I can't find these.

See What Develops

2009-10-14T12:09:00.000-07:00

Some might say that I'm a bit obsessed with the various advertising campaigns of the Los Angeles Kings. But this kind of obsession is what sets The Royal Half apart from the hundreds upon thousands of Kings blogs that are out there. Some blogs out there may want to breakdown faceoff percentage or get interviews with well-respected members of the Kings family... not me, I just like it when a on-air graphic goes screwy.

So when I noticed that Fox Sports West HD has created a new ad campaign for their Kings broadcasts this season... I was surprised to find out that it actually is kinda good...

Sure, this ad invokes the little-know Einstein equation of Pride=Passion=Power that the Kings have been using in their marketing over the last 2 years, but the tagline of "See What Develops" just might be the best LA Kings-related marketing phrase I've heard in the last 10 years.

Get it? Like a photograph. Developing.

As a Half-Season Ticket Holder for the last 7 years, all of which have been playoff free, I've been waiting quite some time to see what develops. And it finally is, at least through the first 5 games of this young NHL season. With the patient leadership of Dean Lombardi and the incredibly smart switch of ditching Marc Crawford for Terry Murray... Kings fans that have been waiting for something, anything positive from their favorite hockey team over the past few years are finally starting to be rewarded. And with the Kings in NYC tonight in the midst of a 6 game road trip, it's the perfect time for the spotlight of the NHL and the mainstream media to be focused on what's going on in Los Angeles. And it seems like the Kings have caught their attention... I mean just take a look at all the rankings, courtesy of Life in Hockeywood.

Are the Kings going to beat the Rangers and Red Wings in back-to-back games? Probably not. A successful season is not built upon going 71-1. It's about consistency and quality of play maintained over the course of the entire season. These Kings are going to slow down eventually... they might even lose a few in row at one point, and us Kings bloggers will say it's all over... and then the Kings will grab a playoff spot and we'll say we knew it all along.

But for the first time in a LONG while... I can't wait to see what develops with every single minute of Los Angeles Kings action.

The 1300th Win is the Toughest

2009-10-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

Fear not, my New York Islander faithful... for you have the makings of an exciting team in the future. Do not forget that the Islanders have been to the playoffs 3 more times than the Los Angeles Kings in the last 6 years. All you have to do is look at what the Kings are doing so far in this young season to know that your team has a bright future ahead of them. And as soon as the team is ready to explode into the playoffs... it will be moved to Kansas City or some small town in Canada and you will be shit out of luck.

Kings 2, NY Islanders 1

Forget the great victory tonight on Long Island that was the Kings 1300th overall... the real big news for Kings fans came earlier today from the ESPN NHL Power Rankings...

Let's see... Mike Richards... Marian Gaborik... oh, why that's Ryan Smyth!

Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy said it best... "how foreign is it to see a Kings uniform featured in something...anything!?!" He is absolutely right. And how crazy is it to see the Kings ranked as the #3 team in the league? Granted it is only 5 games into the season... but for long suffering Kings fans... we'll take whatever we can get. What is the only thing cooler than being featured on the ESPN Power Rankings banner heading? Well, this...

Yeah, I've heard of some of those guys.

What is the only thing cooler than Anze Kopitar tied for the most points in the league? Well, this...

Quincey? Who's heard of that guy?

It almost seems like the Kings are scoring at will.

Ok... so I'll take the puck across the blueline and then score. And Williams will get the 2nd assist.
No... I'll take the puck across the blueline and then score. And Williams will get the 2nd assist.
Let's just agree to score.
You got it, Smythy.

The Kings are just playing at a great pace. Sure, it would have been awesome to beat the Islanders by a bigger margin... but these aren't the Islanders of the last few years. They've been tough to beat this season, losing all 3 games in overtime or shootout. All of the Kings lines are looking strong and the defense seems to have its game back from last season. And Raitis Ivanans is willing to fight the nastiest of Bond Villans if it means pumping up his team.

Joel Rechlicz just might be the scariest looking dude in the NHL.

But I think we all know the real reason for the recent success of the Los Angeles Kings... Ryan Smyth eats babies for scoring power in between periods.

Smyth might be taking my Patrick Bateman comparison a bit too seriously.

The great thing about the Kings playing so well is that you can enjoy the features that Fox Sports West airs in between periods. For instance, tonight, the Kings unveiled their plan to single-handedly revitalize the airline industry.

If you don't fly Androl Air... then the terrorists have won.

And the Kings also had a special sneak preview of the new Steven Soderbergh Liberace bio-pic...

Man, that is one gay Fox.

Kings fans also got an up and close view of how new defenseman Rob Scuderi spends that 13.6 million dollar contract...

Just cause a dude is making 3.4 mil a year doesn't mean he can't buy a POÄNG chair from Ikea.

The House of the Piece.

Just once I'd like to see a Kings player not live in Redondo Beach. Like how cool would it be if Ryan Smyth said "Yeah, I'm really excited to get settled in Encino" or if Jack Johnson is interviewed by Heidi Androl about his house in South Pasadena.

But the biggest surprise tonight was the upcoming horror feature from Fox Sports West HD... just in time for Halloween..."The Clock From Hell!"

Keep your eye on the upper left hand corner.

Ugh, Fox Sports West HD... this is getting so embarrassing. Now you are just begging for people to be friends with you.

Look, FS West... this isn't working out.

That's 2-0 on the current 6 game road trip. Wednesday night the Kings have a date in Manhattan with the New York Rangers. Thank god the game is on at 4pm instead of 11am.

LA Story

2009-10-10T23:33:00.000-07:00

Oh sure. The Kings are definitely in the Midwest.

St. Louis Sports Teams 2, Los Angeles Sports Teams, 7

Screw it, we are going to watch baseball.
Heidi can call the game tonight.

Suck it, Midwest! The City of Los Angeles just opened up a huge can of whip-ass on 2 of the 3 major sports teams in your sleepy city. (What? No basketball team?) Another game, another victory for the Los Angeles Kings... and this win is the type of win Kings fans hope they repeat throughout the year. A fast, tight, well-played defensive hockey game. Jon Quick looked like he did at his peak last season and oh yeah... these guys showed up too.

I mean are those smiles or are those smiles?
I hope to see this image on my tv every game this season.

The "Greatest Line to Ever Play Together" Line added another notch to their season opening scoring streak tonight but I was very pleased with the play of all the lines... even little ole' Peter Harrold had 2 decent scoring chances. And eventually Dustin Brown and Teddy Purcell will learn to hit the net. But even the notorious Ryan Smyth hater RudyKelly over at BoC has to be pleased with the play of Los Angeles' offense.... right?

Nope, Rudy was front row at Scottrade... letting Smyth know how much he loves him.

There was a lot of talk about young defensemen at the start of this game. The dynamic duo of Jack Johnson and Drew Doughty versus the... um dynamic duo of Erik Johnson and Alex Pietrangelo (I'm pretty sure when his Dad's cousin, Frank, played in the NHL it was Peter-Angelo... not the strange way Bob Miller was pronouncing it all night.) I was not impressed with the Blue's young D, especially Johnson. Sure he has a big shot... but he was turned around left and right by the Kings forwards all night. I'll take Drew Doughty poking the puck away from a forward while diving on his belly as he spins around like a record any day over a dude that likes to drive golf carts wasted.

Is it me or is Andy Murray tanner in St. Louis than he was in Los Angeles?

The Kings season almost ended as within few minutes of each other... Wayne Simmonds, Drew Doughty and Anze Kopitar all got injured in different ways... but since they are hockey players... they eat steel plates for lunch and came back to play in the game. And poor Drew Doughty already had a tough time getting the ladies... the last thing he needs is headgear.

Worst. Cold sore. Ever.

Wayne Simmonds also took a hard hit and immediately went to the bench.

Whoops, wrong photo! How did that get in there?!?

The Scottrade Center was only built in 1994... so did they lose the blue prints for the correctly sized penalty boxes during construction?

Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who paid for table service here.

Tonight's telecast marked the television debut of Kings Blogger Extraordinaire Rich Hammond. And I have to say... he cleans up quite well from his bio photo.

Before.

Less Gremlin-y.

Another Hollywood makeover story. I thought Rich actually did a good job with Bob. And you heard it here first... in 3 years Rich Hammond will be the studio analyst for NHL on the Fly or whatever cable channel is showing NHL hockey then (probably Animal Planet.) And you can bet your sweet ass Heidi Androl will be the sideline reporter.

Hey Fox Sports West... you ever consider that maybe I don't want to be your friend?

And the Fox Sports Team also gave Kings fans unprecedented access... interviewing Ryan Smyth from deep within Jack Johnson's black-light filled basement.

Dude... you have Wii?

The Kings are 3-1. I'm really happy about that. They have beat a really good team (Sharks), a young good team (Blues) and a team that I don't really know much about since its previous coach had everyone convinced that it was a stodgy, defensive team (Wild). Monday, the Kings head to Long Island to play a shitty team that they should destroy (Islanders). I know the NHL is trying to cut costs where ever it can... but I think these new refs are horrible.

For how it feels to be a Blues fan and lose to the Kings... check out:
St. Louis Game Time OR Wazzupwitchu

Fugly For the Win!

2009-10-09T00:11:00.000-07:00

Got home from work, parked down on the couch and I just can't wait to watch Los Angeles Kings hockey in glorious High Definition television... here we go!

Oh. That can't be good.

While the good folks at Fox Sports West tried to get the game back on the air, they decided to look into their vault and run an old dating show...

Best episode of Blind Date ever!

Alex Frolov slowly begins his transformation into Jon Gosselin.

I feel a real connection with Heidi. I'm very excited about this date.

There is no way Alex is going to score.
And he also will not have a point in tonight's game.

Eventually, Fox Sports West got the game back on the air and used the opportunity to show off some fancy High Definition graphics!

That hologram technology is just getting better and better.

This is a left over storyboard from The Dark Knight.

But the worst HD-related news of the night?

Aww man! I wanted HD everywhere! What kind of a cheap production is this!?!

It doesn't matter if you saw it in HD, SD or while wearing your BVD's... it was another Kings victory!

Kings 6, Wild 3, Kings First Line, 18 points in 3 games

Another up and down effort by the Los Angeles Kings, filled with plenty of goals. And another impressive night from the Fugly line of Ryan Smyth, Anze Kopitar and Justin Williams, who have dominated the Kings scoring for the first 3 games. Ryan Smyth's play has been nothing less than stellar and he and Kopitar are really clicking.

Worst episode of Blind Date ever.

This may be the first season in a long time that opposing teams won't be starting their backup goalies against the Kings. (Minnesota, I believe you learned that lesson the hard way tonight.) I've been pounding the drum of Ryan Smyth since he was first rumored to be traded to the Kings during last season. But I had no idea he'd be this good and fit this well into Terry Murray's system. For a while there tonight, it looked like that line could have scored each shift. And if Smyth wasn't doing well enough already during his time in Hollywood... there were a couple of casting directors at the game tonight looking to put Ryan in a re-make of a 80's classic.

I mean, they said it was big, but I didn't expect it to be BIG!

Sure it's only 3 games in, but man the Kings penalty kill looks horrible. After starting last season with an amazing penalty killing streak, this season the Kings have given up 7 goals in 11 shorthanded chances. It's enough to make your hair turn white.

Aw, hell! Another power play goal against.

Maybe Jack Johnson should be spending a little less time hanging out at USC and a little more time listening to Coach Mark Hardy.

Umm... when they asked me if I wanted to hang out on a college campus
I didn't think it'd be all dudes.

I'm less worried about the Kings awful penalty kill and more excited about the 15 goals in 3 games. Sure the first line has been dominant, but the 3rd line is chipping in and even little Teddy Purcell has looked like the goal scorer everyone was hoping he'd be. The Kings seem like they are really settling in and getting comfortable as a team. Why then... it's the perfect time to take a 6 game cross country road trip!

That doesn't look like a tough road trip at all.
Oh! It's the New York Rangers and the Detroit Red Wings. Yeah, that might be tough then.

It's a shame that the Kings head out on the road for so long, so early in the season. The fans are just starting to get to know the players.

Hey. I'm Ryan. I make goals happen.

An Old Friend Returns

2009-10-08T15:11:00.001-07:00

This social networking thing is SO awesome. The other day I reconnected on Twitter with an old friend from last season...

Tonight, the Los Angeles Kings take on the Minnesota Wild at Staples Center. This is the last home game before the Kings depart on a 6 game eastern and central time zone road trip which will probably end up making or breaking the 2009-2010 season. (If Kings fans have anything to say about it.) As I mentioned before, there are no more half-season games for us in the month of October, so I will be watching the Kings tonight in glorious High Definition... which means a brand new addition to The Royal Half this season.... HD Screencaps©!! So just think about what possibilities that brings...

All of this will be in glorious High Definition.

7:30pm can't come soon enough.

One Down.

2009-10-06T23:20:00.000-07:00

The only thing better than beating the San Jose Sharks at home???? The fish tacos I ate tonight.

Kings 6, Sharks 4, Fish Tacos A+

First things first. The Kings have opened up the Royal Room and created a really cool space where fans can hang out in between periods, watch other sporting events and eat from a different menu than the rest of Staples Center. I guess the Fox Sports bar served this purpose as well, but I like the feel of the new Royal Room much better. So tonight, Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy and I went for the fish tacos. And boy were they great. Oh and in other non-fish taco news, I think the Kings figured out what the problem was from opening night. Get Peter Harrold back in the line-up and get Alec Martinez out!

I'm really hoping this woman's last name is Martinez and not that
she has made the worst player jersey purchase ever.

The team that all Los Angeles Kings fans hoped would show up this season did tonight. At least for a few stretches here and there. Sure it wasn't pretty, but the Kings jumped out to 4-0 lead against the "on paper" best team in the NHL. Why are the Sharks the best team in the NHL "on paper"? Because their Power Play forward unit is the same as their first line. Forget everything about Joe Thornton or Dany Heatley... that Devin Setoguchi is an awesome player. With the offensive firepower they have on both forward and defense... the Sharks were never out of this game, even down 4-0.

Dude, this is already so much more fun than last season. Am I right?

But even though it was ugly, the Kings won. I know it's only 2 games into the season but doesn't it feel like everyone on this team has scored a point already? The true test of a team isn't how it wins or loses... but how it responds to playing poorly. And this team did respond tonight... especially Raitis Ivanans... after young pup Davis Drewiske (and recent NHL goal scorer) was leveled in the corner.

Hockeyfights.com rocks!

During the 3rd period, the Kings scoreboard celebrated Jarret Stoll for his "Hit of the Game." The best hit during this game was Ivanans' uppercut connecting with Shelley's chin. This is exactly the kind of response the Kings were missing last year. And now Ivanans has an awesome new nickname from KingsKoolAid... Rescue Leader. And with the Kings up 4-0 at the time... I only hope that it sent the message that you don't have Los Angeles to push around anymore. This team is ready to back up its talent with its fists. I mean, how tough does Rob Scuderi look?

I'm going to kill you San Jose!!! ... oh... ouch, ouch, ouch... nose bleed!

If you would have told me that after 2 games the Kings would have 9 goals... I would have been beyond happy. But if you told me that they would have also given up 10 goals in those 2 games... not so much. This is a tough team to figure out after 2 games. For all the talk of defense over the summer... it really has been non-existent. Jon Quick looks brilliant at times and downright LaBarberian at others. The Kings are also having trouble getting the puck out of their zone just below the blue line. But they are rolling 3 even lines and Anze Kopitar and Ryan Smyth are playing like they share a mullet. (that means they are playing well together)

Thankfully, we have 80 more games to evaluate this team. But for the month of October, this is the last game I'll be seeing in person. We decided to trade in our tickets for Columbus on the 25th for Calgary on the 7th of December. So that means for the rest of the month I'll be blogging by watching the Kings in HD on Fox Sports West... and not seeing amazing jerseys at Staples like this one:

Chris Terreri... the premiere backup goaltender of the 90s.

As always, check out our friends up north at Fear the Fin for the Sharks perspective on tonights game. Man, it feels good to beat San Jose. Almost as good as taking a leak on Rob Blake's face. What's that you say? How is that possible? Well, imagine my surprise when I went to the bathroom in between the first and second and saw this in the urinals:

Excellent work, Kings fans.

The Passion of the Drew

2009-10-06T00:02:00.000-07:00

The passion... to pass the puck off the boards... not up the middle of the ice.

Hopefully the Kings will regain their passion tonight versus the San Jose Sharks. And as ridiculous as it is for Kings fans to think the season is over after one game... it's even more absurd to think the Coyotes are playoff bound after one game.

Too Much Information

2009-10-04T21:41:00.001-07:00

Half Season Ticket Holder Buddy sent me a link a few days ago to the Los Angeles Kings Twitter Plan. It outlined all the different Twitter accounts that Kings fans could subscribe to in order to stay informed for the upcoming season. It seems like the Kings are taking this Social Networking thing pretty serious. (I should have known when my Half-Season Tickets had the logos for Twitter, Facebook, MySpace and Linked In on the bottom. Really? Linked In?) Here is a glimpse of what lies out there for Kings fans in the Twittersphere:

In addition to news updates from LAKings.com, Royal Report emails and special ticket offers, several members of the organization will be providing Tweets over the course of the year with posts being able to be found on the Kings’ official Twitter account page at Twitter.com/LAKingsHockey.

Oh cool. There is a new Kings Notebook post for October 2nd.

Okay, simple enough. This should be my place to go for all things Kings related on Twitter, right? Not so fast!!

New LAKings.com beat writer/columnist Rich Hammond will continue tweeting about the Kings and the content he provides for LAKings.com. Follow him going forward at Twitter.com/lakingsinsider.com.

Oh cool... There still is a new Kings Notebook post for October 2nd.

So this is different than getting news updates from LAKings.com. Because it's news updates from LAKings.com about the Kings but from new employee, Rich Hammond. Okay, well looks like I'm all set with my Kings twitters... oh what's that?

In addition, the club’s communications staff will be providing tweets during the season, including notes from the press box during each game and player/coach quotes after games. The Kings have also created a Twitter account for Royal Service to help answer any ticketing issues that people have and to give them even better customer service. The account is Twitter.com/888KINGSLA.

What exactly is "predeterminted?"

Okay... so now I'm going to get my news about the Kings from the first Twitter. Then I'll get my Kings news from Rich Hammond at the second Twitter. And then this new one will give me access to the notes and quotes that make up Kings news that I can find at the 1st and 2nd Twitter. Makes total sense.

Kings Director of Rehabilitation/Assistant Athletic Trainer Joe Caligiuri will be tweeting this season for the first time. Follow him at Twitter.com/lakingstrainer.

Okay, I've been following the LAKingsTrainer Twitter for a little while now and I'm convinced that it isn't actually Joe Caligiuri but a unemployed television writer hired by the Kings. I went to a college that had a highly specialized Athletic Trainer program... and none of those students could write like this:

The professional hockey player in general, is a blue collar, mutually respected individual whom rarely, if never puts himself before any others in the locker room as well as the organization. The players themselves take pride in the type of man whom sits beside them in the locker room and joins them in battle on the ice. Our veterans represent experience and exhibit class while our younger players listen and learn with an open mind while approaching each day eager to improve their selves as compared to the previous. Great teams are built with talent but more importantly, consumed by character. I can assure you that our organization epitomizes character, breeds and eagerness to succeed, and will flourish as a direct result of these qualities that allow our talents to shine in opposition to those whom do not believe in the rebirth of the Los Angeles Kings. Believe in what has been created – and be proud to sit along side us in battle.

Okay, so that's fine... I'll sign up for this 4th Kings Twitter because it seems that LAKingsTrainer (and his ghost writer) can provide us Kings fans with an unique perspective that the 3 other Twitters can't provide. So that should be plenty... oh fuck!

Fans can follow FS WEST on Twitter by visiting Twitter.com/FoxSportsWest.

Seriously, who is following FS WEST? Everyone knows that the FS PRIME TICKET Twitter is where it's at.

Yeah, there is no way I'm adding this.

I just wish there was one LA Kings related Twitter that provided me with what I wanted... thoughtful analysis, access to the players and a witty perspective on interviews.

Heidi Androl, the club’s Manager, Production/Host - Kings Vision and FS West reporter during Kings home games, will continue to tweet this season. Follow her at Twitter.com/Handrol.

YES.

So with all this fuss about the Kings and their foray into the social networking age... it's the perfect time to announce the ultimate in Los Angeles Kings coverage...The Royal Half is on Twitter!

You can find us at http://twitter.com/theroyalhalf for all of your Heidi Androl screencap needs.